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    CRABBY CANCER...

    Go Back  The Irksome Journeys of July 2003    Go Forward
    Greetings, O indescribable wretches from the seabed! May your nippers ever be nastily sharp and may your soft underbellies carry the neuroses of a thousand lifetimes! Welcome to the vile and bitter prognostications for jittery July.

    Things are hotting up in the fiscal department, a development always pleasing for you crustaceans, if you can stop being miserable for long enough to enjoy something other than food and your own odious traditional values. A tide of irritating planetary influences in your unspeakable sign colours the beginning of the month. Not content with the richly rewarding labour of the infirm, you plot to gain even greater access to the coffers of Pluto.

    By the time of the Full Moon in Capricorn, you have sent armies of ruffians into the world to suddenly and violently injure any passerby they can lay their hands on. These armies are followed, of course, by armies of recruiting officers who offer the afflicted rehabilitation schemes in the sheltered workshops you have established all across the town.

    As Venus the goddess opposes natal Chiron, you employ (at very reasonable rates) healers and counsellors to minister to your afflicted workforce. As Mercury the messenger opposes nasty Neptune, you decide that town is too small an arena for your grandiose fiscal dreams. You thus open a chain of sheltered workshops across the globe, all producing high-priced goods at the cut-rate wages for which the crustacean employer is legend.

    All manner of movement in the despicable sign of Leo and your solar second house sees you wheeling and dealing with bean-counters and financiers to increase even further your growing fortune. Come the New Moon in that sign, you rule megalithic empires of poor and downtrodden workers. But, what's this, little crab type nitwits! Mighty Mars turns retrograde in Pisces and your solar ninth house?

    An army of malcontents emerges from your workforce, led by an arrogant and aggressive brother-in-law with a drink problem from a previous nuptial disaster. As Mercury moves into Virgo and your solar third house, the impudent puppies present you, their lord and master, with a list of demands. And what do they want? More pay! Thicker mattresses in the factories to improve sleeping conditions! Meal breaks! And, horror of horrors, they want holidays, time off with pay! In short, little crustacean imbeciles, they want more! And what will you give, them, wretches and lackeys that they are? Click here next month and see!


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    Aries, the Ram
    Aries, the Ram

    Taurus, the Bull
    Taurus, the Bull

    Gemini, the Twins
    Gemini, the Twins

    Cancer, the Crab
    Cancer, the Crab

    Leo, the Lion
    Leo, the Lion

    Virgo, the Virgin
    Virgo, the Virgin

    Libra, the Scales
    Libra, the Scales

    Scorpio, the Scorpion
    Scorpio, the Scorpion

    Sagittarius, the Archer
    Sagittarius, the Archer

    Capricorn, the Sea Goat
    Capricorn, the Sea Goat

    Aquarius, the Water Bearer
    Aquarius, the Water Bearer

    Pisces, the Fishes
    Pisces, the Fishes

     
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