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    CRABBY CANCER...

    Go Back  The Irksome Journeys of August 2003    Go Forward
    Salutations, crab type things! Hooray to you, denizens of the domain of sideways crawling and nasty nippers!

    Last month we left you amid revolting workers (and how else could they be described?) as the sweat shops of your financial empire ground to a halt under the weight of unreasonable and unreasoning demands. Meal breaks! What are they thinking of? Mattresses! How can sleep be economically rewarding? Holidays! Do you yourself take a holiday from the worries of being master of the fate of underlings and slaves? Of course not!

    But even now, despite all these worthy protestations against the chaotic thinking of the rabble, it may be too late to save the empire from the blows that assail it. Listen now, little crab type things, as I recite the vile and bitter prognostications for awful August and you shall know fear and trembling in every microgram of vulnerable flesh that quivers beneath that hard shell of yours.

    The great Sol Invicti clashes with nasty Neptune and your financial state begins to look sickly. Mercury the messenger clashes with mighty Mars and you dispute with your associates as to how best to treat this matter. Some advocate discussion with the workers so you fire those instantly. Others advocate calling in the army and killing the dissidents. You smile a weary but benign smile and say 'nay' to them. Surely, you suggest, a sound thrashing and the abduction of a key family member will be all that's required. Venus the goddess wrestles with nasty Neptune and money matters become even more precarious. Friends and associates begin to worry and ask that their investments be returned or demand cash payments for the services they render.

    Come the Full Moon in lunatic Aquarius and the clash of Mercury and Pluto, the thrashings and abductions begin but you know the writing's on the wall, don't you, nasty little crab types. As a raft of odious planets gathers in Leo and your solar second house, you sell off the business empire for what you can get, invest the returns under a well-oiled pseudonym and declare bankrupt.

    As Venus the goddess and the great Sol Invicti enter irritating Virgo, you take a job as a cleaner on the public rail system. There, you fall in love with a drug-addicted ticket collector, working at a distant station on an outbound line to the coast. Come the New Moon and jolly Jupiter in Virgo, you secretly withdraw funds to purchase a cleaning franchise for the coastal line.

    Just as you're getting underway with a new romance and a new life, trouble strikes. The great Sol Invicti clashes with mighty Mars and a party of police officers and minor officials board your train on the strength of rumours as to your whereabouts. There are charges to answer related to beatings, slave labour, kidnappings and false declarations in a bankruptcy hearing. Minor matters really, and all so inconvenient now that you're trading again and making money. Doesn't the government want its tax dollar?

    Mercury the messenger turns retrograde and you'll have to decide what to do. Will you show your hand and come clean, little crab type things? Or will it be a deft use of the emergency brake? Click here next month and see!


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    Aries, the Ram
    Aries, the Ram

    Taurus, the Bull
    Taurus, the Bull

    Gemini, the Twins
    Gemini, the Twins

    Cancer, the Crab
    Cancer, the Crab

    Leo, the Lion
    Leo, the Lion

    Virgo, the Virgin
    Virgo, the Virgin

    Libra, the Scales
    Libra, the Scales

    Scorpio, the Scorpion
    Scorpio, the Scorpion

    Sagittarius, the Archer
    Sagittarius, the Archer

    Capricorn, the Sea Goat
    Capricorn, the Sea Goat

    Aquarius, the Water Bearer
    Aquarius, the Water Bearer

    Pisces, the Fishes
    Pisces, the Fishes

     
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