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    CRABBY CANCER...

    Go Back  The Oracle of Bitter Truth for August 2001    Go Forward
    Greetings little cranky ones of the hard shell and soft underbelly! How are things in the sacred land of xenophobia? I hope you've been training hard for your next foray into the realm of spirit. Are you ready to begin channelling yourselves, thus releasing the power of an insane divine upon an unsuspecting (but highly deserving) populace? If this reference seems to pass you by, then kindly check last month's forecast and do try to keep up in future! Now, to take up where I left off. Are you ready to open the streams of your higher consciousness to fill the sewers of this tedious world with yet more drivel and garbage? I certainly am so I don't see why you should be able to step aside from the task.

    As awful August opens up, sober Saturn, lord of fateful reward continues his sojourn in Gemini and your solar twelfth house by wrestling with underworld Pluto in Sagittarius and your solar sixth house. This may bring health problems and a sickly cast to your skin, but then a sickly cast is a convincing hue for those about to begin a career as a representative of the world of spirit. If you look ill and only half here, it will put you closer to god as far as the weak-minded lunatics who seek such pathetic solace are concerned. As Venus the goddess begins her sojourn in your sign, you'll be filled with a magnetic luminescence that will get the punters in as well as bringing whatever eating disorders you suffer from to the surface once again despite all the couselling you've had.

    With the FULL MOON coming in Leo and your solar second house on August 4th and making aspects to mystic Neptune and Mercury the messenger, you find that the decision to compensate everyone for your past sins has been expensive indeed. The coffers need replenishment. Now, you're going to need a name if you're to market yourself effectively and remake your fortune. What about 'Dolphinsong'? That's fairly cancerous (or is that Cancerian? the correct appellation eludes me for the moment). As Venus the goddess conjoins with giant Jupiter the very next day, you plan your first gig as a suitably named vehicle for higher consciousness. Doubtless it will be either a raging success and the masses will fall at your feet or it will be a complete disaster after which you'll go home and eat everything in the fridge. Just like your normal life, really! Enough of that! There's money to be made and higher consciousness to be brought to bear as you personally bridge the gap between this world and the next.

    When Mercury the messenger opposes revolutionary Uranus, you have rows with your financial adviser and your shrink over the money and energy you're expending to go down this path. Note that you've gone even further into debt to meet the expenses, but then you have to spend money to make money, don't you, little crabby type things! By the time the great Sol Invicti makes the same pass, the aforementioned both remove you from their client lists as a hopeless and intractable personage (something we have always known to be true). August 19th brings a series of fateful aspects, casting the die for the NEW MOON in Leo the next day when you unleash Dolphinsong upon the gullible fools most sensible people are inclined to describe as the general public. You become an unparalleled success in just those few hours of nonsensical ravings. And, as mighty Mars and Chiron conjoin in Sagittarius and your solar sixth house, a new sense of wellbeing surges through your semi-incapacitated body. You have a new lease of life and a new financial strategy all in one. Dolphinsong the healer is born!

    As Mercury the messenger challenges Chiron and mighty Mars, the gullible public flocks to you in thousands to bathe in your miraculous energies. By the time the great Sol Invicti in Virgo and your solar third house challenges mystic Neptune in Aquarius and your solar eighth house, your career has rocketed beyond the personal touch. Your adoring public sends personal letters, photographs and whining emails (each with a draft or credit card charge to the tune of $1000 US). You're in crabby Heaven, little clawed persons, spiritually profound, emotionally nurturing, well fed and filthy rich. What more could the crustacean want? Click here next month to find out.


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    Aries, the Ram
    Aries, the Ram

    Taurus, the Bull
    Taurus, the Bull

    Gemini, the Twins
    Gemini, the Twins

    Cancer, the Crab
    Cancer, the Crab

    Leo, the Lion
    Leo, the Lion

    Virgo, the Virgin
    Virgo, the Virgin

    Libra, the Scales
    Libra, the Scales

    Scorpio, the Scorpion
    Scorpio, the Scorpion

    Sagittarius, the Archer
    Sagittarius, the Archer

    Capricorn, the Sea Goat
    Capricorn, the Sea Goat

    Aquarius, the Water Bearer
    Aquarius, the Water Bearer

    Pisces, the Fishes
    Pisces, the Fishes

     
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