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    CAUSTIC CAPRICORN...

    Go Back  The Oracle of Bitter Truth for February 2002    Go Forward
    Salutations, little goatish miseries! Did you know that your ruling planet, sober Saturn, lord of fateful reward, has a longtime association with Lucifer, prince of darkness? Thus, this gigantic malefic misery, the curse of us all is known as the old devil. No wonder your sign is so much associated with suffering, sickness, old age, travail and the general run of hardships we have to endure in this benighted universe ruled by insane gods. Saturn is ruler of the ache, the ague, aloofness, ambition and arrests. He also rules bankruptcy, barbarians, barren ground, beasts of burden and bruises. We could also add to the list cadavers, callousness, captivity, carrion, celibacy, cessation, civil engineers and coffins, but then I must stop at this point! I can't proceed to the letter 'd' without taking further drugs, but they come under the rulership of nebulous Neptune, drifting along in the outer solar system and associated with pathetic persons of the fish-faced persuasion. Have you had enough of this idiotic tripe? I certainly have. So, let us proceed with the vile and bitter prognostications for the month of fatuous February.

    Last month you had taken revenge on a group of ungrateful patients and residents at the charity institution where you were working by buying up the premises to develop as a luxury apartment block, thus having the miserable old folk thrown into the streets. This served a double purpose in that it was not only gratifying to return to your usual mean and venal standards, but it also got your financial affairs moving again after a long and difficult period. It would almost be worth throwing a party if you actually knew how to enjoy yourselves.

    However, with Chiron in your own sign opposing Jupiter in Cancer and your solar seventh house as the month begins, things are not as rosy as they seem. The Sisters of Mercy, the ones who ran the institution, now come beating a path to your door and threatening to kick it in as they pray for your soul whilst threatening to be the agency of your imminent demise. Thus they become avowed enemies. They rain down curses and all kinds of vilification on your head, much of which the rest of us would acknowledge is either well deserved or entirely true. The head of the order and several high church officials then come to beg that you change your mind. However, rather than acquiescing in order to see if you can gain advantage from such a tactic, you dig your heels in as Mercury the messenger moves back into your own sign. Instead of developing the premises as apartments, you opt to reside there yourself (your finances have taken a turn for the better due to the influence of old friends as Venus the goddess conjoins with revolutionary Uranus). Mercury goes direct as does sober Saturn and you set the ball rolling.

    As the NEW MOON comes in Aquarius, conjoining with Uranus, you decide to start a private club that you will call 'Lucifer's Lair'. Yes, little goatish ninnies! You will take on the persona of the old devil and live a high life in decadent luxury while you look down on the suffering of others. As Venus the goddess moves into Pisces while the messenger moves back into Aquarius, you're out in the world once more, doing what you love, wheeling and dealing, lying and cheating in order to get ahead and rise to the top of the heap.

    However, as Venus squares sober Saturn and the great Sol Invicti moves into Pisces, you begin to meet obstructions with planning permission as you have to deal with a seemingly endless range of minor officials. Can you guess the truth, bearded nitwits? The sign of Pisces is involved! When Mercury conjoins with mystic Neptune, you decide to press ahead with your plans despite the opposition. However, as underworld Pluto tests Venus the goddess and sober Saturn challenges the great Sol Invicti, little things begin to go wrong. Money goes missing from your accounts. Your health begins to suffer. Letters and emails are lost as the telephone runs hot with confusion.

    Come the FULL MOON in Virgo and your solar ninth house, the true nature of things reveals itself. A network of religious believers has set itself against you because of your callous and unfeeling actions in jettisoning the patients and residents and flying in the face of Holy Mother Church. Ye gods, little goats! Will you stick with the devil or fall to your knees and repent? I expect we shall see if I can get my prescriptions renewed and keep writing this lunatic nonsense.


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    Aries, the Ram
    Aries, the Ram

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    Taurus, the Bull

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    Gemini, the Twins

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    Cancer, the Crab

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    Leo, the Lion

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    Virgo, the Virgin

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    Libra, the Scales

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    Scorpio, the Scorpion

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    Sagittarius, the Archer

    Capricorn, the Sea Goat
    Capricorn, the Sea Goat

    Aquarius, the Water Bearer
    Aquarius, the Water Bearer

    Pisces, the Fishes
    Pisces, the Fishes

     
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