• aries

  • taurus

  • gemini

  • cancer

  • leo

  • virgo

  • libra

  • scorpio

  • sagittarius

  • capricorn

  • aquarius

  • pisces
  • StartWelcomeStar GuideHoroscopesNude HoroscopesTarotscopesOrdersContact UsGuest Book

               
    Asperitus Casting Runes

    Asperitus Casting Runes...

    Nhill, holy city

    Aries Asp
    Taurus Asp
    Gemini Asp
    Cancer Asp
    Leo Asp
    Virgo Asp
    Libra Asp
    Scorpio Asp
    Sagittarius Asp
    Capricorn Asp
    Aquarius Asp
    Pisces Asp

    Astrology Home
    Horoscopes
    Monthly Horoscopes
    Runes
    Relationships
    Health Astrology
    About Astrology
    Orders
    More Info
    The Zodiac
    About Us

    LOATHESOME LEO...

    Go Back  The Irksome Journeys of June 2003    Go Forward
    Hola, to you, vacuous vanities! Weep and tremble as I deliver personally (though without having to actually touch you, thank god!) the vile and bitter prognostications for the month of jaundiced June.

    We left you last month trying to break free from nefarious deeds and villainous associates. And so you do, little pussy folk! To your everlasting credit, of course! Let me tell you how. Giant Jupiter opposes Neptune and you see the error of your ways as a higher calling sweeps through every fibre of your being. Sober Saturn moves into Cancer and your solar twelfth house of spiritual upliftment and other such nonsensical rubbish. It's the house of those wittering fish-faced idiots, the Pisces, if that makes things clear to you. Thus, you withdraw into the solitude of contemplation with painful knees or a malfunction of the anterior pituitary gland, threatening you with premature aging. Horrors, little pussy folk! Your hair will fall out and you'll have to find something else to spend all that money on.

    A raft of astrological doings too tedious to recount sees you break with your more recent underworld associates and return to your friends of yore. You know! Those puling twits who praise your hair and clothing and agree with everything you say, no matter how inane it is! As Lady Moon comes to the Full in brazen Sagittarius and your solar fifth house, you gather these sycophants and imbeciles at your throne. You declare your intent to seek spiritual solace high in the mountains, in a region so remote they can't spell the word 'coiffure' or even make a cappuccino there. 'Which of you will come with me?' you cry to them. 'Take us all!' they reply, though there will be debate as to what actually they meant by this. It's all very moving really, if you like a good bodice-ripper! Myself, I can take it or leave it, depending on the available medication.

    As the great Sol Invicti moves into Cancer at the Solstice, you set off across the seas to find your Shangri La. As mighty Mars is in Pisces and your solar eighth house, you manage to fit in several shabby and drug-sodden encounters with a variety of sea-faring folk along the way. But what's this? The hair-dryers won't work in the damp climate and the gel is dangerously low. You laugh in the face of such adversity, but your friends kick up a fierce uproar about inhumane conditions as Mercury the messenger clashes with underworld Pluto.

    You mean to go on, but when Venus the goddess sets herself for the selfsame clash, your friends cast you adrift in a rowboat and turn the ship for home. So there you are, hairdressing types! Alone in a rowboat in the midst of a wild sea as the New Moon comes in the sign of Cancer. Will you drown! Will you come ashore and claim refugee status in a foreign land? Will you be rescued by someone who will later realize he should have broken the sacred law of the sea and left you to perish? Who knows? Who cares? Not I! Wake me next month and I'll see if I can be bothered to write any more of this tripe.


    Astrology on the Web



    Click here to go to Pisces Click here to go to Aquarius Click here to go to Capricorn Click here to go to Sagittarius Click here to go to Scorpio Click here to go to Libra Click here to go to Virgo Click here to go to Leo Click here to go to Cancer Click here to go to Gemini Click here to go to Taurus Click here to go to Aries


    Aries, the Ram
    Aries, the Ram

    Taurus, the Bull
    Taurus, the Bull

    Gemini, the Twins
    Gemini, the Twins

    Cancer, the Crab
    Cancer, the Crab

    Leo, the Lion
    Leo, the Lion

    Virgo, the Virgin
    Virgo, the Virgin

    Libra, the Scales
    Libra, the Scales

    Scorpio, the Scorpion
    Scorpio, the Scorpion

    Sagittarius, the Archer
    Sagittarius, the Archer

    Capricorn, the Sea Goat
    Capricorn, the Sea Goat

    Aquarius, the Water Bearer
    Aquarius, the Water Bearer

    Pisces, the Fishes
    Pisces, the Fishes

     
    | privacy policy