• aries

  • taurus

  • gemini

  • cancer

  • leo

  • virgo

  • libra

  • scorpio

  • sagittarius

  • capricorn

  • aquarius

  • pisces
  • Isis and Calendar Beastastrology space
    StartWelcomeStar GuideHoroscopesNude HoroscopesTarotscopesOrdersContact UsGuest Book
    astrozine
    astrology strip

               
    Asperitus Casting Runes

    Asperitus Casting Runes...

    Nhill, holy city

    Aries Asp
    Taurus Asp
    Gemini Asp
    Cancer Asp
    Leo Asp
    Virgo Asp
    Libra Asp
    Scorpio Asp
    Sagittarius Asp
    Capricorn Asp
    Aquarius Asp
    Pisces Asp

    Astrology Home
    Horoscopes
    Monthly Horoscopes
    Runes
    Relationships
    Health Astrology
    About Astrology
    Orders
    More Info
    The Zodiac
    About Us

    INSUFFERABLE SAGITTARIUS...

    Go Back  The Oracle of Bitter Truth for April 2002    Go Forward
    Greetings, little centaur atrocities! Never were creatures more suited to the celebration of April Fool's Day than your idiotic selves! Thus I commend you to the process and much good may you have of it. However, I can't dilly dally, congratulating you on the imbecile nature for which your sign is legend! I have no time for such things, even though it is worth noting that you creatures are inextricably associated with religion and the military, and two greater expressions of imbecile endeavour one could not hope to encounter in this benighted universe ruled by insane gods. Let us dispense with the gristle of further niceties and get right to the meat of the vile and bitter prognostications for the month of awful April.

    Though giant Jupiter's cosmic wrestling match with Chiron the wounded healer makes the disposal of bodies and the inception of joint financial ventures appealing in a 'more than somewhat' manner, there are other considerations to be taken into account. First, there is the passing of the great Sol Invicti and Mercury the messenger through Aries and your solar fifth house, in tension with the aforementioned twosome. Thus you will feel like gambling, seeking sexual pleasure and talking a lot (when do you not with this last) rather meeting the gloomy demands imposed by your solar eighth house. Then, of course, there's the matter of Venus the goddess and her move into Taurus and your solar sixth house, bringing on a kidney or throat condition through over-indulgence and causing you to fall desperately in love with one of your fellow mortuary workers. There's also the matter of the sibling who murdered your lover and her/his unreasonable demands for a share of your gambling spoils. And, lastly, there's the matter of how long we can go on with such drivel as this, me writing it and you reading it.

    As the great Sol Invicti conjoins with Mercury the messenger, you decide to leave this island home and make a bid for freedom. You give a generous share of the wealth to the sibling and bid her/him depart forthwith. As Venus the goddess squares mystic Neptune, you feign illness and ask the Mother Superior to dispose of your dead lover's body, promising to invest a fortune in one of the order's building developments. This, of course, is a slight exaggeration. In fact, it's an outright lie. As mighty Mars squares revolutionary Uranus, you secretly prepare an explosive mixed from embalming fluid and blow your place of work to smithereens. You then purloin a car and drive to the wharf where you make off on a boat you purchase there and then. Little do you know it, miserable centaur twits, but it is dangerous to wrong the persons of this ancient esoteric order, as you will discover to your cost later on! But you suspect nothing of this now. In the meantime, you're off on the high seas to live the high life with no clouds of doubt in your mind to shadow the bright sun of your thoughts.

    The NEW MOON in Aries and your solar fifth house finds you in a casino on an island paradise somewhere, determined to throw over all pretense of the work ethic and become a professional gambler. Mercury the messenger moves into Taurus and your solar sixth house and you're lounging around the casino with a notebook, calculating the wheel bias on the roulette table and the probability ratios for the fall of cards and dice. Legend has it you're academically gifted, but then legend also said that the sun went around the earth.

    Mighty Mars moves into Gemini and your solar seventh house and you begin a sexual relationship with a journalist who has a lung condition so you can have a partner to work with in the great gambling coup you're about to pull and sell the story to the press afterwards. However, the two of you disagree about almost everything and thus spend a lot of time arguing, but that's what you tend to do with those you're close to anyway, whether you're having sex with them or not.

    Mercury the messenger then squares mystic Neptune and you get all of your calculations wrong without realizing it. Thus you launch ahead, blissfully unaware of your impending doom. Lady Moon conjoins with giant Jupiter while opposing Chiron and you start losing heavily. Great Heavens, centaur idiots! This is a turn up! You never realized you could lose while gambling! In fact, you now discover that you can lose more easily and more often than you win, as many imbeciles who have gone this road before you will readily attest to. In fact, you lose everything, and as Venus the goddess squares revolutionary Uranus while the great Sol Invicti moves through Taurus, you find yourself working as a cleaner in the casino with scant hope of recouping your losses on the money you're receiving. However, as the goddess then moves into Gemini and your solar seventh house, you fall in love with a receptionist there (the journalist having left when you lost all your money).

    Come the FULL MOON in Scorpio and your solar twelfth house, you and your new love are secretly plotting to steal your money back from the casino. After all, they obtained it unfairly, didn't they? They wouldn't let you win, not once! As Mercury the messenger squares revolutionary Uranus and then moves into Gemini, you hatch your ingenious plans! Click here next moth to find out what they will be.


    Astrology on the Web



    Click here to go to Pisces Click here to go to Aquarius Click here to go to Capricorn Click here to go to Sagittarius Click here to go to Scorpio Click here to go to Libra Click here to go to Virgo Click here to go to Leo Click here to go to Cancer Click here to go to Gemini Click here to go to Taurus Click here to go to Aries


    Aries, the Ram
    Aries, the Ram

    Taurus, the Bull
    Taurus, the Bull

    Gemini, the Twins
    Gemini, the Twins

    Cancer, the Crab
    Cancer, the Crab

    Leo, the Lion
    Leo, the Lion

    Virgo, the Virgin
    Virgo, the Virgin

    Libra, the Scales
    Libra, the Scales

    Scorpio, the Scorpion
    Scorpio, the Scorpion

    Sagittarius, the Archer
    Sagittarius, the Archer

    Capricorn, the Sea Goat
    Capricorn, the Sea Goat

    Aquarius, the Water Bearer
    Aquarius, the Water Bearer

    Pisces, the Fishes
    Pisces, the Fishes

     
    | privacy policy