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Greetings and salutations to the airheads! Another month of life's soap opera opens up before you, with the usual gaggle of characters doing their strange, wonderful and somehow sickeningly normal things. And, as always, you water-bearing weirdos are right at the centre of the drama.
The proceedings get underway with the great Sol Invicti conjoining with Venus the goddess (in perverse reverse motion) in the sign of Aries and your solar third house of communication. Jupiter the mighty monarch in Gemini and your solar fifth house of pleasure and recreation and nebulous Neptune in your sign then favour these two with a display of awesome and exotic power. You might decide to do go nude bathing with some teenage media overnight sensations, or hold a dance party in some abandoned public facility, inviting all your drug-using friends, or you could opt for sex in a public place while using a prohibited intoxicant. Alternatively you might just decide to go the movies and watch some actor get arrested for doing all this kind of stuff while taking no risk yourself. Typical! But, as the Moon moves quickly into the sign of Cancer and your solar sixth house, you might catch a head cold while doing any or all of the above and end up in bed by yourself, as if anyone would notice!
But that minor inconvenience won't last! Jupiter continues to dance in your fifth house right through the month, so the party never ends. Or, at least it carries on until the end of the third week when the great Sol Invicti and Mercury the messenger move into the sign of Taurus and your solar fourth house of home and family. That's when partners or parents (it's hard tell the difference in your case) demand that you spend at least one night a week at home, even if you don't talk to them except to discuss theosophy and your own peculiar spiritual experiences (Mercury applying into a square with Neptune).
Saturn, the lord of fateful reward then moves into Gemini and your solar fifth house while Venus the goddess goes forward again. You might take up with an older partner and a younger one at the same time, though not on the same nights (well, maybe not!). You might decide to have a child to someone you meet at the skating park or the movies so that you can move out of home (your current tease will get over it, unlike your mother). You might rise to the top of a media empire after years of hard work. However, the more likely outcome is that you'll find some form of entertainment you haven't tried yet and change jobs because you're bored.
With Pluto the transformer, Mars the warrior and Chiron the wounded healer all in Sagittarius and your solar eleventh house, you've got heaps of friends to travel with and do crazy things with and go to new places with all the time! In fact you've just got so many friends that your fear of intimacy never really shows up because you just keep changing them around whenever you like. In fact, when anyone gets close enough to you to see that for all your interesting and unusual ideas, you're really just as shallow and as superficial as they are ... and so on!
FULL MOON: This comes on April 8th in the sign of Libra and your solar ninth house of travel, philosophy, law and religion. You might wangle a junket through work and travel overseas where you'll meet the sister or brother of a cult leader or some foreign politician. The attraction will be instant but brief though you'll still spend all your expense money at seedy restaurants while finding out about the secret terrorist activities and the traffic in drugs and white slaves that the family (either one) uses to sustain their cultural concerns. Just another day in your fabulous life really!
NEW MOON: This comes on April 23rd in the sign of Taurus and your solar fourth house. Back home again! Do you really have to get up today? That's the only question. After all, the New Moon comes with a square to mystic Neptune and things have been very tiring lately. I wonder if anyone's done the washing.
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 Aries, the Ram
 Taurus, the Bull
 Gemini, the Twins
 Cancer, the Crab
 Leo, the Lion
 Virgo, the Virgin
 Libra, the Scales
 Scorpio, the Scorpion
 Sagittarius, the Archer
 Capricorn, the Sea Goat
 Aquarius, the Water Bearer
 Pisces, the Fishes
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