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    EVASIVE AQUARIUS...

    Go Back  The Irksome Journeys of April 2003    Go Forward
    Tally ho and yoicks, little air-headed imbeciles! How is everything in la-la land this month? Last time we left you balanced precariously between a life of crime and marriage to a wealthy person with some kind of limp. This time I may make up a new and different tale as, on reflection, all that sounds incredibly tedious and not worth waking up for.

    A New Moon in harmony with Neptune and Jupiter comes in insensitive Aries and your solar third house to get proceedings underway. Thus, you throw aside all past hare-brained schemes and opt for a new one. You decide to write a successful work of fiction (other than your life, of course). As giant Jupiter moves forward, you approach one of your idiot friends in the media. You talk him into giving you a sizable advance and, as Mercury the messenger moves into Taurus and your solar fourth house, you sit down at home and begin writing. It is an unspeakably dreary work on separation, false imprisonment and the tribulations of war in a faraway country, a land tragically ruined by marauding imperialists (Mars and Chiron in your solar twelfth house).

    After 'cappuccino' meetings and 'cafe latte' brainstorming sessions, the work is done and sent off to a television production house under a pseudonym that implies a 'third world' identity, just to give it that authentic ring. Success comes storming back in the form of contract offers and fabulous advances as Venus the goddess squares underworld Pluto. The novel, the movie and the computer game are all to be given simultaneous release as readers worldwide prepare to weep into their handkerchiefs over the tragedy brought so meaningfully to life.

    As the Lunar Nodes change to Taurus and Scorpio, you purchase a palatial mansion and create a corporate structure to manage your fortune. Come the Full Moon in Libra, your fictitious name is on everyone's billboard and website as the hottest thing around. However, the Full Moon carries nasty aspects to mighty Mars so there comes a wave of hostility from the echelons of power as well, offended by your searing expose of this previously untold truth. Adoring crowds scream for the appearance of a new indigenous talent while the corporate barons hire assassins to dispose of a nuisance. And it's all you, little airheads! Isn't it! But you can't tell anyone who you are or that 'economically rewarding' ring of authenticity will fade in light of a depressingly middle class revelation. And thereby hangs a tale! They all want to meet you, little nitwits! For one reason or another! And you can't meet them so you must flee the attention and pull down a veil of anonymity in your wake.

    As mighty Mars moves into Aquarius and hovers in tension with the great Sol Invicti and Mercury the messenger turns retrograde, you find you're assailed by demands for a public appearance and threatened by vicious ruffians who phone and text at all hours of the day and night. You abandon your home and flee into the night, forced to contemplate the cover of the most successful book ever published while sheltering as a homeless itinerant in a lonely airport lounge. Click here next month to follow the tragedy.


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    Aries, the Ram
    Aries, the Ram

    Taurus, the Bull
    Taurus, the Bull

    Gemini, the Twins
    Gemini, the Twins

    Cancer, the Crab
    Cancer, the Crab

    Leo, the Lion
    Leo, the Lion

    Virgo, the Virgin
    Virgo, the Virgin

    Libra, the Scales
    Libra, the Scales

    Scorpio, the Scorpion
    Scorpio, the Scorpion

    Sagittarius, the Archer
    Sagittarius, the Archer

    Capricorn, the Sea Goat
    Capricorn, the Sea Goat

    Aquarius, the Water Bearer
    Aquarius, the Water Bearer

    Pisces, the Fishes
    Pisces, the Fishes

     
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