Asperitus Casting Runes...
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Hola and hooray, my little air sign imbeciles! May each new idea you have be as idiotic as the last one (as if you had any choice in the matter)! And speaking of new ideas, you're going to need one as you sit in the airport, reading (anonymously) a copy of your own book, heavily disguised so as to avoid the adulation of screaming fans and the threats of corporate vengeance.
The New Moon comes in odious Taurus, with nasty aspects to mighty Mars and mystic Neptune in your sign. You decide to hole up in a broom cupboard at the airport. Using the vibrator you generally carry for emergencies, you set up a head-massage service for stressed and weary passengers in transit. In no time at all, a travelling Italian businessman offers to finance you into a franchise so that you can expand to other airports. You accept but continue to live in the airport broom cupboard, shrouding your residence with a cloak of mystery to protect yourself. However, as Mercury the messenger clashes with mighty Mars and Neptune, an accident with industrial cleaner (you weren't really trying to sniff it) starts a fire that drives you from your nocturnal refuge.
The Full Moon in Scorpio descends, bringing a lunar eclipse to trouble your solar tenth house. You're sprung and the authorities that protect the hallowed turf of this busy hub of aviation come hunting you. Your new business associate offers the use of an apartment in Rome. As the great Sol Invicti moves into Gemini, squaring revolutionary Uranus, you find yourself living an opulent lifestyle, though there's still a measure of uncertainty about who you are.
On the one hand, you now have a string of head-massage parlours and a Mediterranean lover (you picked her/him up on the way). In the wider world, the hunt for the mysterious but successful author (you again) continues in the international media. And then there's also your own pathetic and superficial personality that you have concealed with this double subterfuge. You may miss it. The rest of us don't. Mercury the messenger is now moving forward and conjoins with Venus the goddess, the two clashing with mystic Neptune. You decide to adopt a whole new identity, consistent with your role as Italian massage magnate.
Come the New Moon in Gemini that brings an eclipse to your solar fifth house, you give up your old life completely, your idiot friends in the media, your idiot friends not in the media, and even your children (they may be idiots as well). Oh well! They'll find someone else to look after them. What's life after all but one jolly great adventure of the airhead variety! I think I'll have to stop writing now. I'm feeling unwell. I'll continue this next month if I can find a stronger prescription.
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Aries, the Ram
Taurus, the Bull
Gemini, the Twins
Cancer, the Crab
Leo, the Lion
Virgo, the Virgin
Libra, the Scales
Scorpio, the Scorpion
Sagittarius, the Archer
Capricorn, the Sea Goat
Aquarius, the Water Bearer
Pisces, the Fishes
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