Asperitus Casting Runes...
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- Salutations, galoots of the air sign persuasion! How are you and your idiot friends this month? No, for god's sake don't answer that! It's taxing enough having to speak to you without the grinding dread of awaiting a reply. Let me open wide the valve on my intravenous medication and we shall proceed with the vile and bitter prognostications for ominous October.
The great Sol Invicti clashes with sober Saturn and cranky Chiron and we find you looking out over wild and mountainous terrain, ensconced in some distant land whose name you don't even know. In fact, you don't actually know where you are, largely because the plane you took to flee your homeland and leave creditors behind has been hijacked and flown to a remote location. Hence, the wild and mountainous terrain. Equally wild and mountainous are the terrorists who have abducted you, your crew and your fellow passengers. However, as nobody on board speaks their language and none of them speak a language with which the abductees are familiar, the abduction has reached an impasse. In the course of this, the waving of guns and occasional outbursts of either sobbing or shouting seem to be the only meaningful activities, apart from the study of the wild and mountainous terrain in the hope of spotting a recognizable landmark or road sign.
Where others weep or shout, you remain unaffected by all this, as in fact you are by everything in life that requires either emotional involvement or a realistic appraisal. And, since all attempts at cheery converse with either abductors or indeed abductees have so far failed, you begin humming a lively air. This tune is brought to mind by a resemblance between your current location and the country of Venezuela where you once spent time playing the pan pipes, studying under a guru, accumulating an adoptive family and having many delightful affairs. Oh the days of your gorgeous life! Like butterflies they come and go! I'll pass over the obvious comment and proceed with what happens next while one of us is still sane.
First, one wild and mountainous abductor begins to hum along with you. Soon all join in, so it appears this air must be native to their native land. By the Full Moon in odious Aries, a rollicking choir forms and, in the uniting power of song, the divide between captive and captor vanishes. People rove about like strolling players, entertaining one other with amusing gestures and comical expressions, the language barrier forgotten, guns laid aside for the more frivolous amusements chosen by the band of gentle souls that music has made you.
Great gods alive and dead, little airheads! You're healers and makers of peace such as are written about in the prophecies from days of yore. What does this mean? Have you come upon this earth to save a worthless human race from their abysmal fate in a benighted world ruled by insane gods? Certainly it seems fit that folk as worthless as yourselves should be the saving of a largely worthless species! However, as usual, the obvious proves not to be the case.
As the great Sol Invicti and Mercury the messenger move into compulsive Scorpio, bringing a New Moon in that damnable sign, the trick of it all is revealed. A film crew steps out from their camouflage (in the wild and mountainous terrain), applauding madly. It turns out this whole business is a reality tv show, set up secretly to study the effects of stress on ordinary folk enmeshed in the drama of extreme situations. The wild and mountainous abductors are actors, hired for the job! And, what's more, little air sign nitwits! It's actually a competition with real prize money on offer, and it turns out you've won by dint of your marvellous choir of peace! You're rich, little airheads! Rich beyond your wildest dreams! Well, perhaps not that rich.
However, here's the rub! As sober Saturn turns retrograde, you find you must return home to collect the cash prize and thus you will have to run the gauntlet of your creditors. As Mercury clashes with nasty Neptune, you begin to experiment with various disguises to see if you can get away with this. Perhaps a Halloween mask will pull it off! Click here next month and see!
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 Aries, the Ram
 Taurus, the Bull
 Gemini, the Twins
 Cancer, the Crab
 Leo, the Lion
 Virgo, the Virgin
 Libra, the Scales
 Scorpio, the Scorpion
 Sagittarius, the Archer
 Capricorn, the Sea Goat
 Aquarius, the Water Bearer
 Pisces, the Fishes
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