Asperitus Casting Runes...
- Gods I’m bored with this business of prison, WITHIN THESE WALLS, corruption and payoffs! After all, none of it is consistent with your shiftless, changeable and overly idealistic nature as airheads! And besides, I’ve lost interest in the tale. I cannot remember what I wrote, neither can I be bothered re-reading last month’s forecast to find out. However I will expect you to keep up as usual.
So, little airhead lunatics, as awkward April is upon us, let us begin life anew. Mischievous Mercury cavorts in fatuous Taurus and your solar fourth house, so you’ll no doubt be discussing money matters and relative value systems with family members, arguing about all that nonsensical humanitarianism that fascinates your nitwit sign so much. Vamping Venus swans through Gemini and you’ll go to parties, have affairs and disport yourselves in the unspeakable clothing you’re inclined to wear.
As a fatuous Full Moon comes in neurotic Libra, you may take a jaunt overseas to attend a rain dance or receive an award for doing something for humanity. Unfortunately, in doing so, you bend the credit card and have to ask a family member for a loan. Mischievous Mercury turns retrograde and this simple request becomes a row so you borrow from a friend as vamping Venus squares idiot Uranus. But, as your friends are all such wonderful creatures, this sets in motion a vigorous discussion over who should have been allowed to help you.
Cranky Chiron then clashes with the great Sol Invicti and mischievous Mercury and you all end up doing group therapy or a sweat lodge or some other primeval rite to express your oneness with each other and the earth and thus resolve any difficulty. This brings you all so close together in a new and wonderful spiritual communion that, as a New Moon comes in arrogant Aries, bringing a solar eclipse, you decide to give up skinny lattes for the month and donate the funds to the children of some war torn country.
Thus, as awkward April comes to a close and marauding Mars and vamping Venus wrestle with underworld Pluto, we find you on the plane to a distant and troubled land, armed with a cheque for $743.60 and your odious good will, ready to assist humanity in its quest for betterment. Just another day in your wonderful life really! See you next month when things really begin to hot up, little nitwit air signs!