Asperitus Casting Runes...
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Greetings, my dear little protuberances! I trust that all is well in the world of head-on collisions and hideous temper? Perhaps so, perhaps not! Last month we left you sulking after yet another ungracious rise and cataclysmic pratfall from the grace that ever eludes you. What does miserable March hold for you, ram-type twits? Shiver and tremble in your baby booties for I, Asperitus, the oracle of bitter truth, do hereby prognosticate. And, I tell you! It won't be pretty!
An appalling New Moon in the tear-stained sign of Pisces begins the month so you'll probably fall about the place, weeping and moaning about your tragic lot, taking drugs and secretly having sex with other people's partners. You will repent these wicked ways as Mercury the messenger conjoins with revolutionary Uranus. Then, when mighty Mars enters lugubrious Capricorn (oh, those hideous goats!), you take up religion. With the great Sol Invicti wrestling with underworld Pluto in Sagittarius and revolutionary Uranus moving into Pisces, you decide to become a charismatic preacher and sway the masses onto the path of good through the agency of your newfound fervour.
But, great Heavens, little ram-type things! What's this? The cosmos is in turmoil. The great Sol Invicti tests sober Saturn, lord of fateful reward, while Mercury the messenger wrangles with underworld Pluto. Your first public meetings are a disaster. People throw things at you, jeering and catcalling! This is not how it should be! People should love you and give you money and praise. Oh dear! How sad! Never mind! Come the Full Moon in Virgo and your solar fifth house, you catch a terrible cold and decide that god doesn't love you so you give up religion and take to your bed. Then, when the great Sol Invicti and Mercury the messenger move into your sign, you feel much better so you go out into the streets and yell at people and pick fights with them, just like you've always done. Then, as Venus the goddess conjoins with revolutionary Uranus in Pisces and your solar twelfth house, you start having secret affairs again and spend your money on drugs and mindless entertainment. Sometimes, little ram-type twits, we're better off sticking to what we know.
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Aries, the Ram
Taurus, the Bull
Gemini, the Twins
Cancer, the Crab
Leo, the Lion
Virgo, the Virgin
Libra, the Scales
Scorpio, the Scorpion
Sagittarius, the Archer
Capricorn, the Sea Goat
Aquarius, the Water Bearer
Pisces, the Fishes
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