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The Oracle of Bitter Truth for May 2001
BITTER ARIES...

Welcome to the merry month of May, horny-heads! With Jupiter in Gemini in your solar third house opposing Pluto in Sagittarius in your solar ninth, I suppose you'll be marching with all of the other good little socialists, crusading for worker's rights and railing against the corporate barons who rule the plutocracy of our New Middle Ages. But, then again, maybe not! After all, what's in it for you? You're more likely to be in among the marchers starting a fight because that big guy, the one in the red shirt, stopped you from making a left-hand turn while the traffic lights were still amber. And you didn't like the way he sneered at your red Ferrari. Why do poor people resent your success so much? By the way, if you're ever in the mood for some light reading (is there any other kind for you?) try the book of famous Aries humanitarians. There are two different entries, Peter Ustinov and Tiny Tim, plus an interesting debate on how Lucrezia Borgia was nearly included. She was the only other one who came close.

With Venus the goddess in Aries as the month gets underway, you can continue to use the magnetism of your animal charm to get what you want. With Venus in harmony with Saturn, the lord of fateful reward in the sign of Gemini and your solar third house, you can hold a conversation without mentioning yourself more than ten times and you may even be able to find a park in town without getting a ticket. However, such charm as you can muster may be a mixed blessing. What you gain on the swings, you may lose on the roundabout, as we shall see. Money will be much on your mind this month, with the great Sol Invicti and Mercury the messenger in Taurus and your solar second house of finance until the third week. Try not to accumulate funds and maintain forward motion regardless of the cost. With the Sun moving away from a square to mysterious Neptune in Aquarius and your solar eleventh house as May begins, the cost might be in friendship, especially with disillusioned people, inebriates or drug-users (not real friends, I admit, but then you don't have them). Generally, such relationships (in fact most relationships) are not all that important to you, but realize you may need these people later on. Success is not achieved over the dead bodies of friends, you know. That's a Capricorn strategy! You rams need to have someone left standing at the end so they can tell you how great you are, how well you did and how it never could have been done without you ... et cetera, et cetera!

When the FULL MOON comes on May 7th in the sign of Scorpio, it may continue this troublesome trend with regard to the 'friends, hopes and wishes' sector of your chart as well as making mayhem in regard to money matters. If you get into financial trouble, you could:

Lie about your income to get a further extension of credit.
Try prostitution.
Shout at people in the street and demand money from them. This is called 'robbery' but, leaving aside the money bit, it's indistinguishable from your normal behaviour.

May 12th! It's a red-letter day! Mighty Mars moves into retrograde (reverse) motion in Sagittarius and your solar ninth house, creating a lot of touchy-feely stuff with Chiron the wounded healer as he does so. You might have an idyllic moment reflecting on childhood fishing trips or school expeditions. If you've recently been overseas, you may have to go back to collect something or someone you've forgotten in your rush to get home (happens all the time, especially with people!). Other than that it's not likely to do much except throw your life into chaos for three months or so, create conflict with religious or military figures and give you bouts of bad temper that may lead to thigh injuries. When the NEW MOON comes in Gemini on May 23rd, things will improve. Harmonious aspects between Jupiter and Venus will see people flocking to the hospital (you're laid up with a thigh injury) to visit you and bring you presents. This won't be because they like you. They'll just be grateful for an opportunity to criticize you en masse when you're too weak to fight back.