Astrology on the Web - Bitter Aries

Start	Welcome	Star Guide	Horoscopes	Nude Horoscopes	Tarotscopes	Orders	Contact Us	Guest Book

Asperitus Casting Runes...

Aries Asp
Taurus Asp
Gemini Asp
Cancer Asp
Leo Asp
Virgo Asp
Libra Asp
Scorpio Asp
Sagittarius Asp
Capricorn Asp
Aquarius Asp
Pisces Asp

Astrology Home
Horoscopes
Star Guide
Relationships
Relationship Analysis
About Astrology
Orders
More Info
The Zodiac
About Us

The Oracle of Bitter Truth for June 2001
BITTER ARIES...

Greetings, horny-headed rams! Do I have your attention? I consider this unlikely but I must ask the question anyway. It's a matter of protocol. Are you sitting comfortably? Good! Then prepare to be unsettled to say the very least. In fact, read on until my nasty and bitter prognostications destroy any vestige of comfort that remains to you with regard to the matter of your future. Overall, the month of June will be a most enjoyable time, that is if you don't mind problems with communication, travel and the law, shocks on the domestic or emotional front and an atmosphere clouded with unsettlement and irritability. You may even start to wonder why everyone else has taken to acting like you do.

Proceedings get underway almost immediately as the great Sol Invicti in Gemini starts a wrestling match with underworld Pluto in Sagittarius, activating matters in your solar third and ninth houses. You might have a shouting match with your spouse's grandparents or a run in with a minor official from the road traffic authority when an army tank on urban manoeuvres (retrograde Mars in Sagittarius) splashes mud on your Ferrari and you go in to make a complaint. After you'd just got your little brother to do a cut and polish on the weekend!

Then, Mercury the messenger turns retrograde (reverse motion) on June 4th, giving you a ticket for parking in the handicapped space while you were inside making your complaint at the traffic authority (well, there wasn't anywhere else, was there!). You go back inside and get the same idiot you complained to the first time, so you ask to speak to the supervisor (for 'speak to' read 'yell at'). The supervisor turns out to be some bureaucratic-minded twit (unusual in a bureaucracy, but there you go!) who ends the discussion (for 'discussion' read 'row') by threatening to revoke your car registration, your driver's license and finally your birth certificate. That's when you hit him (well, you don't really hit him. It's more like you just wave your hands expressively and he falls over. Anyone could see the twit was jealous because you own a Ferrari). The police are called and, well! It's just another in the long line of traffic related fines you've already received really. We can only look forward to the court appearance!

When the FULL MOON comes on June 6th, you'll get a private declaration of war from the tank corps concerned. After all, they'll recognize that flashy car of yours anywhere! And, with Venus the goddess moving into the sign of Taurus and your solar second house at the same time, you could distract yourself with sex if you weren't saving to pay the various fines you've incurred so far. You're worried by now, little horny-headed ones! After an argument with your lawyer (Jupiter opposition retrograde Mars, June 12th) and various meetings with legal people and minor officials (Sun conjunct Jupiter, June 14th), you return to the road traffic authority.

This time, you go disguised as a member of the opposite sex (Venus square Neptune) to see if you can get any dirt on the twit who had you arrested. However, the dress/suit you choose to wear is several sizes too small and gives the game away, leading to yet another series of criminal charges. In compensation for all of this, you do get an interesting proposition from a European individual with a particularly angular frame. They loved the dress/suit! It turns out that they have a passionate interest in social justice (as well as sex) and agree to represent you in court. But the wicked little heavenly messenger isn't done with his stuff yet. And it isn't just road traffic effrontery that challenges your forward thrusting nature. The telephone might prove to be hell as well. The bureaucratic twit from road traffic has a mate in Telstra who then engineers a series of nuisance calls that criticize everything from your driving to your dress (you do tend to dress badly) and your sexual prowess. These appear to come from some foreign person who lives in Botswana land and makes frequent improper references as to how he'd like to do to you what he does to his sheep (regardless of your sex).

Just as you're getting quite interested in this, the great Sol Invicti moves into Cancer and is eclipsed by the NEW MOON. Disappointingly, this ends the phone calls, but your newfound legal adviser convinces you that you haven't got a chance in court so you leave home, change your name and marry her/him and start a new life. However, when Venus the goddess squares Uranus at the end of the month, you decide to leave her/him because you're bored. Oh well!