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BITTER ARIES...	 —Asperitus Signs— Asperitus Speaks Nhill, holy city Aries Asp (March/April) Taurus Asp (April/May) Gemini Asp (May/June) Cancer Asp (June/July) Leo Asp (July/Aug) Virgo Asp (Aug/Sept) Libra Asp (Sept/Oct) Scorpio Asp (Oct/Nov) Sagittarius Asp (Nov/Dec) Capricorn Asp (Dec/Jan) Aquarius Asp (Jan/Feb) Pisces Asp (Feb/Mar)
  The Jaded Japes of June 2008 Â

Hooray to you, O cretinous creatures of the cloven hoof! When Saturn and Uranus make their war, your employment will tumble to ruin or turn to paths eccentric or obscure.

You will become an artist, a lunatic or a sulky little turnip. Holding an exhibition of your art work, you leave everything till the last minute and then throw a tantrum because no one will help you or praise your partially completed efforts. You therefore contract a nervous affliction, hear voices and drink too much. You consequently take on a boring job and daydream about doing something interesting. You will write a book about cowboys, war or fast red cars, but no one will read it.

You weed the back garden and pretend to be a herbalist, till someone falls ill after taking one of your mixtures. You run away when the police are called. You will learn to count on an abacus, gamble at the races and make sneering remarks under your breath when authorities chastise you. You will lose faith or interest in everything and get confused when reading books of instruction.

TIPS FOR JADED JUNE:

Be careful in traffic and don't talk to yourself in public if you wish to avoid incarceration or institutionalization. Don't argue with foreigners, philosophers or clergymen at the Full Moon in Sagittarius.

As the great Sol Invicti slides into Cancer, tidy your room, make your bed and eat everything on your plate at meal times. As marauding Mars and narcotic Neptune grope each other, don't try to have sex with a friend, unless you really can't help yourself.

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