Asperitus Casting Runes...
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Greetings, O benighted neurotics, adrift upon the sea of life. It's that time of the month again, isn't it, you lunatics of cyclical and returning energy! And here I am to heap upon your unprotected heads, my vile and bitter prognostications for awful April!
There will be no mercy, crab type things, even if you fall upon your nippers and cry for it! Traditionally, the transit of the great Sol Invicti through Aries is unpleasant for the crustacean and so it is yet again this year. Though we left you flourishing in foreign climes last month, there's always something that goes wrong in your wretched lives. Thus, a New Moon in belligerent Aries finds you making a new start in professional matters on April Fool's Day. What could be more appropriate as you loll about in the foreign land that is your adopted home! However, with mighty Mars and cranky Chiron in Capricorn and your solar seventh house of partnership, there will be volatile performances from your recently acquired nearest and dearest. These take the shine off new romance and obstruct your drive towards success. However, giant Jupiter moves forward in your solar second house, bringing money to the family coffers and allowing you to purchase such implements as are needed to punish errant loved ones. Mercury the messenger moves into Taurus and your solar eleventh house, urging you to moan to your new friends about your miserable condition.
As the Lunar Nodes then move into Taurus and Scorpio amid a flurry of tiresome aspects, you decide to form a business with your equally xenophobic associates, selling pre-written 'complaints' packages for use by the illiterate and the incoherent. This proves to be a success, given that the bulk of the population of this benighted world is made up of same. A success, that is, until the Full Moon comes in decadent Libra and your solar fourth house. At this point, your family demands to be released from their manacles and menial tasks to share in the profits and joys that flow from this turn of fortune. You reluctantly agree.
As Venus the goddess moves into Aries and mighty Mars into Aquarius, a female person with considerable status and a fiery temper approaches you to turn your 'complaints package' business into a multilingual global enterprise. She offers money on a grander scale than you can believe. Filled with both pride and greed, you agree. However, as Mercury the messenger turns retrograde in Taurus and your solar eleventh house, your friends turn against you. They want to pull out of the business, claiming you have been transformed by success into a creature of a nasty and dictatorial arrogance. Obviously they have not known you for long! As Mercury tests out underworld Pluto at this time, will you have yet another breakdown? Or will you arrange an accident for these interfering nonentities as they take the company bus to work? By the way, this last is an arrangement you wisely put in place to save money on transport, giving some indication as to the nature of their grievances. If I'm not awake in time, do email me next month to ask what happens. Until then, little sea creature nitwits!
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Aries, the Ram
Taurus, the Bull
Gemini, the Twins
Cancer, the Crab
Leo, the Lion
Virgo, the Virgin
Libra, the Scales
Scorpio, the Scorpion
Sagittarius, the Archer
Capricorn, the Sea Goat
Aquarius, the Water Bearer
Pisces, the Fishes
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