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    CAUSTIC CAPRICORN...

    Go Back  The Oracle of Bitter Truth for April 2001    Go Forward
    Greetings, goatish ones! I hope your climb up the ladder of success over the dead bodies of friends and family hasn't been too stressful for you lately. If it has I'm sure you'll get over it.

    The month of April brings your big biennial move, Saturn the lord of fateful reward and your life-ruler changes sign, though this is not till the end of the third week. Last year in August he had a brief look in to size up the situation before he scurried back to the sign of the bull, a place of relative safety for someone as staid as you are. Now, everything is set for the big move.

    There are two things that will be important for you to remember with Saturn in Gemini. The first is that Gemini is the sign of communication. Your homework for the next two years, therefore, is to practice the phrase 'I delegate'. You may have trouble actually pronouncing the word at first, as some of the muscles around the mouth will have lost the necessary resiliency, but if you practice the words 'dog shit' for awhile (your general assessment of the efforts of others), you'll soon get the hang of it.

    The second thing is to realize that your tendency to do everything for yourself, by yourself and for your own reasons is not simply due to you being a control freak. It is also because of a general failure to achieve effective teamwork with others because no one likes you. Once you realize this fact and realize also that others are wholly justified in this prejudice against you, the next two years will crawl by with alarming speed. And anyway, when did what other people like or dislike count in your world?

    Oh, and by the way, I lied. There are actually three things that are important and the third one is health. Saturn in your solar sixth house is not a favorable transit. Watch for bronchial infections, diseases of the lungs and injuries to the extremities. So, if you get sick or injured, you'll just have to speed up the 'I delegate' stuff. When Saturn moves into Cancer and the your solar seventh house of marriage and partnership in two years time, you'll get better. Then you can sack all the people you delegated to and hire members of your own family because they're already well trained in doing things the way that you want.

    As the month of April begins, the great Sol Invicti and Venus the goddess are conjunct in your solar fourth house of home, family and emotions (this last won't apply to you). That conjunction is square to the Moon's Nodes in Cancer and Capricorn in seventh and first houses. One of your children (his/her father's/mother's favourite, the one who wants to be in the fire service) may well decide to advance their career aspirations by setting fire to their school and then running away with an underage partner, leaving you with a bill for damages.

    With Mercury the messenger in Pisces in your solar third house of travel and communications separating from a square to Mars the warrior in Sagittarius in your solar twelfth house, all the psychics, prostitutes and prison guards in your neighbourhood will have their knives in your back within seconds. They'll claim you were a lousy parent, always out working till all hours and leaving the kids with a variety of baby-sitters you seduced because you couldn't be bothered trying to find a new partner after your first one left because you were always out working till all hours. You'll be tempted to sell the house and move to get away from the neighbours and so you won't be there when the kid runs out of money and has to come home. But you won't because you've got big development plans on at work (Jupiter in the solar sixth house) and can't afford the time.

    Then Mercury hits Aries at the end of the first week of April and the kid comes home, bringing the underage partner and all they do is have rows so you stay out working till all hours working just to get away from the noise. Then, right on the FULL MOON on April 8th, the underage partner's parents arrive with a social worker and cart your entire family off to an 'outward bound' style rehab facility, leaving you alone to stay out working all hours.

    When the great Sol Invicti and Mercury move into Taurus and your solar fifth house, it seems like all your sacrifices will have been worth it as your plans begin to work out. But then with Mars in Sagittarius in your solar twelfth house, the managing director of your overseas investment house is kidnapped by terrorists and the ransom bankrupts your holdings. Then a multinational corporation dealing in armaments buys out your company at home. Whereupon you contract a mysterious lung disease (Saturn in Gemini in your solar sixth house, I warned you!), and with Chiron in Sagittarius and your solar twelfth house, you decide to become and tarot reader and spiritual healer right on the NEW MOON in Taurus on April 23rd. It's all happening so fast, isn't it! By the time the next month's forecasts arrive, you'll be far too evolved to read rubbish like this.


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    Aries, the Ram
    Aries, the Ram

    Taurus, the Bull
    Taurus, the Bull

    Gemini, the Twins
    Gemini, the Twins

    Cancer, the Crab
    Cancer, the Crab

    Leo, the Lion
    Leo, the Lion

    Virgo, the Virgin
    Virgo, the Virgin

    Libra, the Scales
    Libra, the Scales

    Scorpio, the Scorpion
    Scorpio, the Scorpion

    Sagittarius, the Archer
    Sagittarius, the Archer

    Capricorn, the Sea Goat
    Capricorn, the Sea Goat

    Aquarius, the Water Bearer
    Aquarius, the Water Bearer

    Pisces, the Fishes
    Pisces, the Fishes

     
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