Asperitus Casting Runes...
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Greetings, goatish tragedies! You are destined to hear my vile and bitter prognostications for yet another month, as I am destined to live with the gruesome fact of your continuing existence. All my efforts to have your appalling sign and its odious ruling planet, Saturn, removed from the Zodiac have failed. Or perhaps I simply failed to make such efforts and contented myself with the mere thought of it. I can't really remember and nor do I care! Now on with the ides of miserable March!
A New Moon comes with the cloying sentiment of idiotic Pisces in your solar third house. Perhaps you'll wake up in the morning and decide to speak nicely to people. Perhaps you'll help elderly ladies across the street or invite your mother to dinner. Perhaps you'll decide (mistakenly) that you have talent and begin writing a saga of your spiritual adventures. However, mighty Mars then moves into your sign so you decide to give up being nice to people and go back to pushing them over when they get in your way. Venus the goddess moves into Aquarius and your solar second house so, after working how much it will cost to have your mother to dinner (she eats such a lot), you decide to hire an escort instead. Mercury the messenger conjoins with revolutionary Uranus in your solar second house, so you give up creative ideals and go back to thinking about new schemes to make money. So much for change, little goat-type things!
But then, what's this? Revolutionary Uranus moves into the selfsame tragic sign of Pisces. You may have a new idea and amaze your neighbours. You may develop a twitch or a speech impediment and seek therapy. You may meet a bus conductor who loves fishing and who then explains the meaning of life in a way that even you can understand. As the great Sol Invicti squares underworld Pluto, you throw aside your old ideas and beliefs and begin talking in a strange sepulchral voice. When he then moves on to square Saturn, you become fatigued and give up your working life for the sake of your health. Venus the goddess conjoins with mystic Neptune and you give up all material possessions, start taking baths and begin to study aromatherapy.
By the time of the Full Moon in Virgo, you have found strong religious convictions and begin preaching on street corners. As the great Sol Invicti and Mercury the messenger enters Aries and your solar fourth house, you move to a solitary home in the bush and ponder your future as a spiritual seeker. Great heavens, little goat-type things! I'll have to lie down now. I can take no more of this drivel and neither, I suspect, can you.
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Aries, the Ram
Taurus, the Bull
Gemini, the Twins
Cancer, the Crab
Leo, the Lion
Virgo, the Virgin
Libra, the Scales
Scorpio, the Scorpion
Sagittarius, the Archer
Capricorn, the Sea Goat
Aquarius, the Water Bearer
Pisces, the Fishes
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