Asperitus Casting Runes...
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Ho and hooray to you, miserable goatish persons! Last month we left you insensate on the floor of your mountain home, taking an unexpected break from the usual depressing business of trying to make more money than anyone else. I think it was something to do with publishing, forestry and the beauties of nature. It seems tragic that I am able to recall the mundane detail of the triviality you call your life. Thus, I have sent out for a stronger prescription. As the new dosage renders me insensate in the very act of writing these words, I will change the course and direction of your life. Such is my godlike power, little cretinous creatures with your knobby knees and stringy beards. Know that when I prognosticate, reality bends to my inexorable will. And, I'm prognosticating right now, in case you're wondering what that unearthly noise is. Here is the vilest of the vile and the bitterest of the bitter for jaundiced June.
Giant Jupiter opposes mystic Neptune while mighty Mars squares Venus the goddess. Your publisher goes bankrupt, you've sold your shares in the forestry business and the forest lies in ruins, largely because you had a fit of pique. Now it's time to pay, little goatish things. Sober Saturn, your miserable and depressing ruler moves into Cancer and your solar seventh house. As if things were not bad enough, now an odious gaggle of infirm, elderly or incapacitated family members turns up at your door. They demand shelter and support, largely in payment for the past when you abandoned them in order to keep working all the hours that god sends so you could be successful. I think this is called 'chickens coming home to roost', little goatish types! Snared by an attack of guilt (a dreadful failing for any wretch cursed with your sign), you set to work in the ruins of your property and your life to try to wrest a living from the land.
As the great Sol Invicti clashes with underworld Pluto, each extremity aches from the hard physical labour. As a raft of imbecile planets moves into Gemini and clashes with Uranus while Lady Moon comes to the Full in Sagittarius, your life is one long round of menial tasks, tears and irritating talk. This last comes from the family gaggle who seem to think they know the best way for you to do everything. The chickens are home to roost once again! You begin hurling rocks at your aging relatives and brutish children as mighty Mars squares the Lunar Nodes, but this does little good, for the planet of the war god then moves on into Pisces and they just hurl the rocks right back at you.
The great Sol Invicti moves into Cancer at the Solstice, ready to join hands with your miserable ruler. Thus, an elderly relative with withered breasts (the one who's always hated you) appoints herself the leader of this odious group. She begins to direct the work herself, delighting in telling you what to do. As underworld Pluto then clashes with Mercury and Venus, siblings and ex-partners take up sticks to brutally beat you whilst you labour.
Come the New Moon in Cancer, little goatish miseries, you find yourself a slave to the passions of everyone you've ever ill-treated. Your search for someone who cares will be as fruitful as that of the blind man at midnight searching in a darkened room for a black cat that isn't there. Ta-ta, little goatish miseries. Till next time!
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Aries, the Ram
Taurus, the Bull
Gemini, the Twins
Cancer, the Crab
Leo, the Lion
Virgo, the Virgin
Libra, the Scales
Scorpio, the Scorpion
Sagittarius, the Archer
Capricorn, the Sea Goat
Aquarius, the Water Bearer
Pisces, the Fishes
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