Asperitus Casting Runes...
The truth shall set you free, little goatish persons! Set you free it may do, but first it's going to irritate you mightily. And what is the truth? The month of odious October has come and it's time for your dose of vile and bitter prognostications.
Greetings, annoying bearded ruminants! Here I am as usual to welcome you! You may sleep easily in the knowledge that some things never change and I, Asperitus, the oracle of bitter truth, am one those things. I am the doyen of irritating drivel and the general of dissonant dissent! I am the pasha of poisonous palaver and the sultan of the sniping remark! Though this blighted world may tumble down in pieces, I shall still be here, delivering my vile and bitter prognostications through the tedious succession of the appalling days we live in. It's good to have something to look forward to, goatish types, is it not! Your inbuilt and obsessive love of structure should thus fasten on to the vile and bitter prognostication as a very cornerstone of your existence.
Why, you ask, do I not then get on with it, instead of rambling on about nothing in the pompous and irritating manner that I choose to adopt. Perhaps even I have nothing better to do than annoy you. Or perhaps it is just that there is nothing better to be done. This in itself is a sad and tragic comment on the quality of my life, the tragic state of your lives and the meaning of existence as a whole. Still, why should I tease you any longer! Even I'm getting bored. Harken to me, goatish types. I prognosticate!
Last month was an unnerving experience even for those as dull and unexciting as you are. There were threats and jolly japes, narrow escapes and humble returns and now you're planning to kill your family for the witless prank they pulled on you. Of course we understand that this is nothing to do with wounded pride or punctured ego. No! The real reason is the distressing loss of business and income. So, if it's necessary to murder your nearest and dearest (or at least some of them) to exact your revenge and set a fitting and sobering example, then so be it. So, you return to work thinking that all is well once more in Goatish Mansions. However, this goes to prove once again just how wrong you can be.
As odious October begins, Venus the goddess wrestles with underworld Pluto and you discover that inside the fake plot there was a real one after all. Your family drove you off in fear so as to abscond with the funds from the slave trade and media group that have been at the economic centre of your life since I began to make up this ridiculous drivel.
Mercury the messenger turns retrograde in Libra and the FULL MOON comes in Aries and you discover that you're as broke as any pathetic Pisces or wasteful Sagittarian. And if that's not enough, with Mars opposing giant Jupiter, creditors are at the door already and, with Venus the goddess squaring sober Saturn, the overseas interests that have been supporting you up until now proceed to drop you like a hot potato. Oh Horrors! When giant Jupiter makes cosmic mischief with the great Sol Invicti, legal persons begin to turn up in droves, demanding to know what you're going to do about it all. Then Venus the goddess challenges Chiron the wounded healer and your health starts to deteriorate as your staff demand their wages and threaten to resign.
When the great Sol Invicti conjoins with Mercury and the two of them clash with mighty Mars, you discover that threatening everyone with firearms does nothing to advance your situation. Just as you're wondering when all this is going to end so that you can go back to being rich and working all the hours that god sends, there comes a new development. As Venus the goddess moves into Libra and your solar tenth house and the NEW MOON comes in that sign as well, a charming mediator enters your offices and says that she/he will sort the situation out for you. You're entranced, almost in love (or as close to it as anyone of your sign actually gets) and agree immediately.
As the great Sol Invicti moves into Scorpio and Mercury goes direct, the negotiations begin. All seems to be going well at first until mighty Mars the warrior moves into Aquarius and your solar second house while the great Sol Invicti makes mayhem with mystic Neptune. Things start going wrong. There's confusion and tension in the air. You're losing control. Is it possible this beautiful stranger has betrayed you? Click here next month and find out.
Aries, the Ram
Taurus, the Bull
Gemini, the Twins
Cancer, the Crab
Leo, the Lion
Virgo, the Virgin
Libra, the Scales
Scorpio, the Scorpion
Sagittarius, the Archer
Capricorn, the Sea Goat
Aquarius, the Water Bearer
Pisces, the Fishes