Asperitus Casting Runes...
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Ho, little two-faced twerps! How is everything in the kingdom of liars in this, the miserable month of March? Chiron the wounded healer and sober Saturn are turning your life into a hell on earth as they hover in a fateful aspect known to the wise (and thus not you) as an inconjunct. Though you try therapist after therapist to overcome your sense of sexual inadequacy, things get worse and not better. Great Heavens, little air sign twits! This could be thought to be serious if the rest of us weren't laughing so much.
Thus, you withdraw into a bitter, inner world where you plot revenge for the agony in. After all, if you feel inadequate, it must be everybody else's fault for making you feel that way. With giant Jupiter moving forward in Cancer and your solar second house, you decide to sublimate these fears in a greedy drive for cash and thus turn your attention to making money. With mighty Mars in Taurus and your solar twelfth house, you become prey to strange fantasies, are subjected to random attacks by crazed cattle and demented psychics or sailors. You have secret sexual encounters with confectioners, bankers and aggressive beauticians. You also plot to become the 'numero uno' corporate raider of the twenty-first century. You're the megabyte buccaneer, the Captain Kidd of the new technology!
As the great Sol Invicti wrestles with underworld Pluto, you cut a swathe through the doings of associates and partners, pillaging their worlds and plundering their gains. As Mercury the messenger conjoins with revolutionary Uranus in Aquarius and your solar ninth house, you're making deals with all and sundry across the water, laying the foundations for an empire of global wealth in the technology sector. With Venus the goddess squaring giant Jupiter as the messenger enters Pisces, success beyond your wildest dreams is within your grasp, though the nightmare fears still lurk beneath the sea of consciousness.
The NEW MOON in Pisces and your solar tenth house brings your buccaneering business venture into corporate reality. You're the virtual kings of the world, little air sign twits! But what's this? Mighty Mars squares mystic Neptune and there are plots against you. Drug dealers conspire with oil magnates to plunder your undertakings as you have plundered others. Your meals are poisoned and assassins haunt you in the streets. You hire food-tasters and bodyguards. Come the Equinox and the great Sol Invicti in Aries, your triumph rises above these paltry attempts to do you harm. Mercury the messenger challenges underworld Pluto and you hire assassins to track down your enemies and put paid to their efforts. With the great Sol Invicti testing giant Jupiter, you are the ruler of all you survey. Oh happy day for you! Oh misery for us!
Come the FULL MOON in Libra and your solar fifth house, yours is a life of pleasure and indolence as you ride the backs of your staff and the cash cow of technology. And what's worse, as Mercury moves into Aries, you sit around and talk about your achievements all day. Ugh! But fear not, little air sign twits! I, Asperitus, the oracle of bitter truth, will forecast a poisonous and deadly downfall to follow this meteoric rise to stardom. Click here next month and read of your miserable fates!
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Aries, the Ram
Taurus, the Bull
Gemini, the Twins
Cancer, the Crab
Leo, the Lion
Virgo, the Virgin
Libra, the Scales
Scorpio, the Scorpion
Sagittarius, the Archer
Capricorn, the Sea Goat
Aquarius, the Water Bearer
Pisces, the Fishes
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