Asperitus Casting Runes...
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Greetings, O two-faced twerps! How are things in the land of easy money, deception and lack of commitment? With a New Moon in hideous Aquarius and your solar ninth house to begin the month, doubtless you'll meet someone from Sweden and fall desperately in love with them for the moment. With a raft of appalling planets in dreary Capricorn and your solar eighth house, you'll be working out the best uses for other people's money. And, with giant Jupiter in Leo opposing mystic Neptune, you'll be saying anything and everything you can to talk other people into letting you use their funds. Situation normal! When the Full Moon comes in Leo, opposing eccentric Uranus, you'll break up with the Swede and take up with a publicist that you meet at some media bash. As Mercury the messenger conjoins with mystic Neptune, your deceptions will take on an almost mystical character, causing even you to believe what you're saying (for a moment or two anyway).
As mighty Mars conjoins with Pluto in your solar seventh house, the Swede will take umbrage at the recent break-up and follow you around, showering you with abuse and blows from blunt instruments. As sober Saturn moves forward and opposes mighty Mars, you go back home to live with your mother and implore her to protect you from this really unfair treatment. However, as the great Sol Invicti moves into Pisces and your solar tenth house, your mother tells you that you were adopted and she never liked you anyway. At this point, you run into the streets, desperately searching for someone who cares. I'll be back in a month to comment on the utter fruitlessness of this endeavour, little two-faced imbeciles.
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Aries, the Ram
Taurus, the Bull
Gemini, the Twins
Cancer, the Crab
Leo, the Lion
Virgo, the Virgin
Libra, the Scales
Scorpio, the Scorpion
Sagittarius, the Archer
Capricorn, the Sea Goat
Aquarius, the Water Bearer
Pisces, the Fishes
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