Asperitus Casting Runes...
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Greetings, little cretinous air sign persons! Last month we left you roaming the streets in search of someone who cared as you wailed and bemoaned your tragic, but nonetheless deserved, fate. However, I'm bored with that now, so I'll alter your destiny to suit my concerns, a practice I believe to be a commonplace among the chosen and the powerful such as myself.
A New Moon comes in wretched Pisces and your solar tenth house at the start of the month so some imbecile will take pity on you, offering gainful employment despite your flimsy grasp of the concept. As Mercury the messenger conjoins with revolutionary Uranus at this time, it will doubtless be a job in the media (perhaps not so gainful after all) and involve a secret sexual or financial liaison. Revolutionary Uranus then enters Pisces with a raft of other hideous aspects between unmentionable planets in tow. Thus you will either be made to answer for all your past crimes by a nervous minion of the law or rise to the top of the heap in your new job because of an unexpected change of circumstance. If it's the former, you will die. If it's the latter, disgruntled fellow workers will complain but you will either sack them or have them killed. While there are, in fact, such astrological aspects as would cause this, I can't be bothered recounting them.
Let us simply advance to the Full Moon in Virgo and your solar fourth house where you purchase a palatial mansion and set yourself for a life of simple luxuries. As the great Sol Invicti and Mercury the messenger move into Aries and your solar eleventh house, you find yourself with a new group of friends who only like you for your money and position. Thus they are all as shallow as you, so the situation suits you perfectly. As Venus the goddess then joins with revolutionary Uranus, you appoint a manager in your stead and begin to think of other fish to fry. Is it carp or flake, little air sign nitwits? Click here next month and see!
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Aries, the Ram
Taurus, the Bull
Gemini, the Twins
Cancer, the Crab
Leo, the Lion
Virgo, the Virgin
Libra, the Scales
Scorpio, the Scorpion
Sagittarius, the Archer
Capricorn, the Sea Goat
Aquarius, the Water Bearer
Pisces, the Fishes
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