Asperitus Casting Runes...
Salutations, air sign nitwits! Had any more conversations with god lately? Or is it converse with the devil as usual in the house of equivocation? Let's not waste time with the piquant persiflage that makes me reach for a stronger prescription as it falls into the gap between your ears! Let me instead, as is customary on occasions such as these, be vile and bitter in my prognostications! So here we go!
We left you last month at the top of yet another business empire, bending the law as much as is humanly possible in order to make a dollar. In fact, you heap gross moral turpitude upon gross moral turpitude, having entirely forgotten the converse you had with the deity. Said converse involved returning you to a sensate condition (as much as there can ever be one with you) in exchange for your sylvan tread on the paths of righteousness. And what happened, little air sign twits? As all manner of odious planets make merry in Cancer (almost impossible in that miserable sign, you'd think) and your solar second house, your brain is bent to no other purpose than making money, and this time holding onto it.
Come the Full Moon in dreary Capricorn, you have a finger in every pie on the market. Mercury the messenger moves into Leo and your solar third house of communication and you decide to publish a book and CD of your journey from dumbstruck to filthy rich. Still it seems to evade your consciousness that you made a deal with the Lord even though you write and sing about it to make yet another fortune.
As Venus the goddess opposes Chiron you buy escorts to attend to your every dark need frowned on by the church, in private of course so that your family (bless them) and your congregation will never know. With Mercury opposing nasty Neptune, you imbibe of every mind-bending brew money can buy to achieve the ecstatic state and find new inspiration.
As the great Sol Invicti moves into Leo and Mercury and Jupiter conjoin there, your book and CD hit the market place and prove to be a stunning success. However, come the New Moon in Leo (gods, who will rid me of that meddlesome sign), everything changes. Mighty Mars turns retrograde in tragic Pisces and your solar tenth house while Mercury the messenger moves into anxious Virgo.
You stand before your congregation, a little more inebriated that you realize, and tell them how you didn't need god at all to find your success. They gasp! They cry aloud! You continue, laughing. You announce proudly that you have created your own success by drawing on the power of the god within. There is stunned silence, then outcries of rage. The word 'blasphemy' is hurled at you in the pulpit.
Finally, an old grey-haired man rises from the congregation and roars out 'Stop!' in a thunderous voice. Thunder cracks! Winds roar! Rain shatters the very windows. You stand aghast, little airheads! Has the almighty come in person to bring retribution? Click here next month and see.
Aries, the Ram
Taurus, the Bull
Gemini, the Twins
Cancer, the Crab
Leo, the Lion
Virgo, the Virgin
Libra, the Scales
Scorpio, the Scorpion
Sagittarius, the Archer
Capricorn, the Sea Goat
Aquarius, the Water Bearer
Pisces, the Fishes