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Congratulations, two-faces! Saturn, the lord of fateful reward is in your sign for the next two years. We eleven other signs of the zodiac wish you all you deserve of such a transit, all and a little bit more, in fact! If you've a fancy to let the dark side of your twin natures out to play, then Walpurgis Eve (April 30th) could be just the night to do it. After all, a little dancing with the devil never did anyone any harm, did it? The morning of May 1st will doubtless tell the story.
And on that note, the merry month of May begins with the great Sol Invicti and Mercury the messenger in Taurus and your solar twelfth house so you may be feeling a little tired and withdrawn. You may not be facing up to things all that well (when do you ever?) and hidden enemies and secret sorrows may dog your path. There could be hostilities with artists, actors or singers, especially if you're dealing with those whose careers you might have ruined with your slighting and superficial reviews for a local paper or independent website. However, you might also be telling even more lies than usual because you can't quite remember what it was you said last time to cover your tracks. The best approach might be just one of not talking very much, a blessing both you and your friends will treasure for quite different reasons.
On May 6th, the messenger moves into your own sign and puts mouth and mind into high gear once again, but this busy little bee of the Heavens soon meets with sober Saturn who's dogging your path like one of the Eumenides. No, this is not a Greek dip to be eaten with bread! The Eumenides were a bevy of female spirits sent by the gods to exact revenge for a blood crime within a family. They featured in classical Greek tragedy, a form you could duly take note of given the direction your life is going in now. However, back to the story. Venus the goddess is sitting in tension with the Lunar Nodes, creating a few glitches and hitches with the people around you that you jokingly call your 'friends'. Giant Jupiter is in your sign and wrestling with Pluto in Sagittarius in your solar seventh house, so the temperature with partners could be at an all time high. In addition to that, money will be the issue when the FULL MOON comes in Scorpio on May 7th, so if you owe anything to anyone around this time just don't come to work and don't answer the door at home.
Then the Heavens provide you with a shift. The messenger crosses sober Saturn, making sweet music with Venus the goddess in Aries and your solar eleventh house. Good planning, concentration, thoroughness and diligence will doubtless bring success from hereon in so unless you can hire someone to do these things for you, you're finished. However, with your usual dose of astonishing good luck, some elderly fart pops up out of the woodwork to save your bacon. You quickly take advantage of her/his impoverished circumstances and get her/him to do all of the things you can't be bothered doing. Your plan to build mobile phone towers on the Moon (from last month) is showing signs of flagging, but the seconds water wings to Mozambique and the Viagra Plus are both doing well and have helped to ease the immediate cashflow problems. But what has shifted then shifts back as mighty Mars the warrior turns retrograde (reverse motion) in Sagittarius and your solar seventh house. Partners may discover your secret affairs and explode into ire, threatening to leave and demanding their money and possessions be returned to them. With Mercury the messenger coming into opposition with underworld Pluto, you may have to argue long and hard to talk them out of this foolishness. Failing that, just hire a hitman! May 16th would be an ideal date for this.
When the great Sol Invicti moves into your sign on May 21st, the NEW MOON follows on the 23rd with the great Sol Invicti, Lady Moon and sober Saturn all meeting in your own sign. A brilliant new idea comes, triggered by the old fart who's actually managing your affairs now. You'll start an employment agency for the elderly and experienced worker. You can charging them a massive joining fee, send them out to look for their own work and then charge an exorbitant commission. It'll work! They'll fall for it. And so like the flawed hero (the emphasis on flawed) from the classical Greek tragedy I spoke of earlier, you take yet another step on your path of inevitable doom as your wrestle with the lord of fateful reward, grim Saturn. See you next month, two-faces!
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Aries, the Ram
Taurus, the Bull
Gemini, the Twins
Cancer, the Crab
Leo, the Lion
Virgo, the Virgin
Libra, the Scales
Scorpio, the Scorpion
Sagittarius, the Archer
Capricorn, the Sea Goat
Aquarius, the Water Bearer
Pisces, the Fishes
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