Asperitus Casting Runes...
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Greetings, two faces! I hope the merry month of June treated you much as I predicted. If it didn't, don't complain. You're no stranger to dishonesty yourself and even you must have realized by now that I make all of this rubbish up for my own distempered amusement.
Even so, you may be feeling that I single you out as the cappuccino nitwit of the media set, saving my most spiteful venom for you and you alone (although there's always two of you come to think of it). Not so! I despise you neither less nor more than all the other empty-headed vacuities masquerading as humans beneath the guise of the air sign. But then, come to think of it, I don't like any other members of the drivelling gaggle of zodiac beasts nor even a single member of the human race that I can think of at the moment. May large and ill fed animals fart on all of you! But you haven't 'clicked here' like the little brainless automatons you are to read about my problems. No! You've come to the oracle so that he can tell you yours and so I do now! Hear my sick, bitter, twisted, empty and vicious prognostications for the month of July.
Revelations of past deceits and betrayals could trouble you as the month begins, but then you'll just deny them as you always do, adding even further to the interminable stream of your plausible lies, so that no accuser will remember where the accusations started or indeed why. You have a way with words, dear two faces! When the FULL MOON comes in Capricorn and your solar eighth house, bringing a lunar eclipse, you'll find the boss in your current media outfit who encouraged you to invest your ill-gotten gains from the lawsuit in an online dating agency has buggered off and taken your money. The cheek of it, especially when you were still trying to work out how to get your hands on her/his share. Oh well, perhaps you can still use the paperwork to drum up some more finance before anybody realizes that the dating service never actually existed in the first place. And so you do. With Venus the goddess in your own sign, you manage to charm several loans officers from a selection of banks into extending your credit while they max out their own cards in expensive cafes, hoping to get you into bed. You end up sleeping with all them that afternoon (just not all at once) and still have some time left over to see a movie in the evening. You wouldn't want to waste a whole day on it, after all, would you?
In the meantime, as Venus the goddess meets with Saturn, lord of fateful reward, the employment service for the elderly and experienced worker begins to show some results. The old farts are getting themselves organized and finding work all over the place. By the time that giant Jupiter, monarch of the Heavens, and Mercury the messenger meet in your own sign and then waltz into Cancer, your solar second house, you're making money like cattle make methane. But as usual there's a problem. With Mercury making cosmic mayhem with revolutionary Uranus and mystic Neptune, the ex-boss turns up. She/he has squandered all the embezzled funds and is threatening to reveal that the credit you obtained was done so with fraudulent papers.
When mighty Mars turns direct in Sagittarius and your solar seventh house, you hire a hitman to take out this troublesome creature. Problem solved! You decide to start an affair with the hitman (same sex or opposite, it's all the same to you) just in case he might be useful in the future.
When the NEW MOON comes in Cancer, your solar second house on July 20th, you decide to set up a superannuation investment scheme, with deductions from the salaries of the old farts that are currently making you rich. Now doesn't that give you room to move, two faces! It's just a pity you have to keep dealing with masses of wrinkly grey skin to keep this going. Maybe you should put in a manager for the employment service and move on to younger pastures. Perhaps you could start an assassination agency with the hitman! After all, it worked for you! Maybe it could be an online agency, giving a whole new twist to the idea of the number of hits you get per month. With the great Sol Invicti and Mercury in Leo and your solar third house by the end of the month, www.hitman.com is well underway. See you in August, two faces!
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Aries, the Ram
Taurus, the Bull
Gemini, the Twins
Cancer, the Crab
Leo, the Lion
Virgo, the Virgin
Libra, the Scales
Scorpio, the Scorpion
Sagittarius, the Archer
Capricorn, the Sea Goat
Aquarius, the Water Bearer
Pisces, the Fishes
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