 aries  taurus  gemini  cancer  leo  virgo  libra  scorpio  sagittarius  capricorn  aquarius  pisces |
 |
| ||||||||||
 |
|||||||||||
 | |||||||||||
|
|
||
 Asperitus Casting Runes... |
Greetings, two faces! Awful August awaits you so let's not mess about with the usual paltry insults. Let's get straight down to the business of the harsh and cruel fate that awaits you all. Even you will have been surprised at how lucrative the new assassination agency has become in so short a time. And even more surprising is the unmitigated joy you seem able to take in knocking off selected peoples (by proxy of course) and making a profit from it. Good Heavens! With Pluto (the Scorpio planet) in your solar seventh house and Jupiter in your solar eighth (the Scorpio house), you might be turning into a Scorpio! Quelle horreur! That would never do, not with their appalling dress sense, their lack of good conversation and the complete absence of style and a sense of humour!
Oh well, perhaps it's just another of the masks you wear on the two-faced path and there won't be any long term effects. Anyway, it may not be a bad thing altogether as Scorpions do get lots of sex. Speaking of which a few of those old people from the employment agency keep looking longingly in your direction with a kind of unnerving, dribbling gratitude that seems suggestive of the potential bonk. If it weren't for all that wrinkly skin! Maybe you could set up a brothel and watch them have sex with other people. That might be fun and it would start a new line of employment with a larger than usual commission for you! As sober Saturn, lord of fateful reward and underworld Pluto wrestle in the Heavens as the month begins, you realize that bold action is needed. When the FULL MOON comes on August 4th as Venus the goddess and giant Jupiter, monarch of the Heavens meet in Cancer and your solar second house, you decide to add the geriatric knocking shop to the assassination website, the employment agency and the superannuation scheme. You employ a few of your old people to go looking for suitable premises. You're on your way to an empire, baby, and nothing's going to stop you now! Little do you know, two faces, that trouble is on the horizon. When Mercury the messenger opposes revolutionary Uranus in the second week of August, disturbing news comes. An established overseas assassination bureau has taken umbrage at your rash move into their market. Your own agency informs you that two gentlemen called Vince and Nuncio (the overseas agency's top guns) are headed in your direction. Now it's all very well to employ someone to kill other people, but the thought of being killed yourself (or even slightly wounded) is very unappealing. After all, you're a coward and you hate the sight of blood, especially when it's your own. When the great Sol Invicti in Leo and your solar third house opposes revolutionary Uranus in Aquarius and your solar ninth house, you're on the phone to the overseas agency, arranging a deal and talking your way out of trouble again. After an hour or so of that complicated talk you love so much (about commissions and percentages and all that nonsense), all is well once again. Your agency is under the umbrella of international protection and Vince and Nuncio have been diverted to a holiday spot in the Pacific called Aceh where they can seek a little freelance work. The end of the third week of August brings the fickle finger of fate to your door in the form of a yod, a doom laden astrological aspect much feared by the ancients. Thus when the NEW MOON comes in Leo and your solar third house on August 19th with giant Jupiter and Venus the goddess in Cancer and your solar second house, you press ahead with the plans for the geriatric brothel. In fact, the old folk have taken quite an interest in this project). However, come the morning of August 20th, trouble is brewing as Mercury the messenger starts to square underworld Pluto and sober Saturn. Your new lover (the assassin you hired and then formed the agency with in case you can't remember) proves difficult too handle. A simple request to do what you want when you with no consideration for other people's feelings (like they matter) threatens to end in something dangerously like a row until you remind yourself who is carrying the gun. By the time that mighty Mars and Chiron conjoin in your solar seventh house, you back down with regard to your demands for freedom, leaving yourself feeling sulky and irritable because you can't get what you want. And, if that's not tragic enough for you, then the end of the month sees the whole terrible plot revealed. As Lady Moon conjoins with mighty Mars and Chiron to challenge Mercury the messenger, you find that old people and the hitman have all this while been secretly conspiring against you. This is because they hate you, largely because of your appalling attitudes, so there's no surprises there! With the great Sol Invicti making cosmic mayhem with mystic Neptune, you find yourself kidnapped and sent off to some oriental backwater. There, you'll be made into a sex slave to the aged potentate who rules this godforsaken realm, plus his household staff (they're old too) and several animals from his menagerie (also aging specimens). God what a tragedy! If you can find anyone who cares, do write and let me know so we can have them seen to. Otherwise, click here in September to see how your ghastly fate unfolds.  |
 Aries, the Ram  Taurus, the Bull  Gemini, the Twins  Cancer, the Crab  Leo, the Lion  Virgo, the Virgin  Libra, the Scales  Scorpio, the Scorpion  Sagittarius, the Archer  Capricorn, the Sea Goat  Aquarius, the Water Bearer  Pisces, the Fishes |
