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    Gemini | Soul Connection | Relationships | Runes | Zodiac


    Click for Last Month  The Awful Ambiguities of December 2006  Click for Next Month
    Gemini Salutations, my fatuous two-faced persons! I do apologize but I won't be able to prognosticate for you this month. I bruised my coccyx when I fell over backwards, trying to carry your Christmas present home from the shop. As a consequence, I can no longer move my hands without assistance. Prognostication, as I practice it, requires a full set of operative digits of the most nimble kind. Thus, I am reduced to relaying to you, second hand as it were, some chortling, chiding and a smidgen of chastisement for the current month in a manner that will be mercifully brief for all concerned.

    Ye gods and little fishes but it's all on from the start, twisted types. The Full Moon explodes in your sign on Dec 5th. You will be fired, rehired and fired again. There will be furious rows as you're evicted from home. You may engage in fisticuffs with a family member or infuriate a partner with your specious reasoning or underhand betrayals. As marauding Mars, war god and bellicose psychopath, clatters into your house of partnership, matters deteriorate further. Persons will wish to have sex with you or shout at you, which may be much the same thing given that this eructation of cosmic flatulence is from the boisterous bottom of Sagittarius, the ghastly sign of the Centaur. Lust, rivalry, belligerence and debauchery will rule as the silly business of the Centaur goes on and on, ad nauseam. Confusion will reign and persons will threaten legal action or throw the weighty tomes of learned men in your direction.

    As a New Moon comes in Sagittarius, you will choose a new partner, rich and powerful. You will then order this new paramour to kill everyone that annoys you. You will then have a lot of wild sex and buy a lot of things. With Jupiter in Sagittarius, you will spend Christmas travelling the world, sniffing cinnamon in Spain, eating celery in Stuttgart and riding horses in Hungary. You will in time discover that your new partner is a dethroned monarch, a defrocked ex-head of a religious order or a drug lord travelling incognito. Ave!

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