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    Go Back  The Irksome Journeys of November 2003    Go Forward
    Ho to you, hairdressing types! Last month we left you running a spy cam network and making a fortune as you preyed on the unseemly and disgusting private lives of the humble folk who work with finance. As the work they do is generally to our detriment and their benefit, they largely deserve everything they get, even from you.

    This month, we'll see how you can make a mess of things by being the author of your misfortune yet again through arrogance, stubbornness and prideful stupidity. For this is nasty November and these are the vile and bitter prognostications thereof. Nasty planets congregate, making nasty aspects! Thus does nastiness accumulate below from the influences above!

    At first, the blackmail scam goes well, but then you run into a minor problem. It turns out that one of the financial toadies you target is a family member, one of your offspring in fact. You were just too busy congratulating yourself to notice as you reviewed the tapes. Of course, the two of you have fallen out before (the sign of the Scorpion is on the cusp of your solar fourth house) and she/he sees this as spite. Lies and gossip flood the airwaves among your nearest and dearest as the great Sol Invicti clashes with nasty Neptune.

    Come the Full Moon and a lunar eclipse in cloddish Taurus, there's a family split and subsequent feud. Marauding Mars, jolly Jupiter and mischievous Mercury all bounce and jump and so the knives are out and furious words are exchanged! Doors are slammed as the threat of litigation looms. Great gods alive and dead, you're in your element now, little vanity of vanities! You swear to meet the offending party in court!

    Then, a calmer head reminds you that blackmail is illegal and your defence of it in the halls of justice may do you little credit. In fact, it will result in a jail sentence.
    Quelle horreur, puling pussy folk! Can you conceive of a greater injustice than the standards of coiffure maintained in stir? And what about supplies of mousse, emulsion or gel? Contraband such as this has ne'er before eluded a watchful screw!

    Come the New Moon and a solar eclipse in nitwit Sagittarius, we see the creatures of might and mien chastened, humbled in fact, and attempting to negotiate a truce. You wave a cheque book and smile that smile you believe to be winning but, for the rest of us, it merely confirms our darker view of your painful self-absorption.

    As usual, money settles most things! The errant offspring wants a cheque and a share of the action. She/he will happily turn the tables and blackmail a colleague. After all, this is the world of middle finance! But what's this, puling pussies! Horrors upon horrors, a final condition is required, one you can never in all conscience meet! The creature wants an apology from you. You'll have to say 'I'm sorry' or the jig is up and the odious fruit of your loins will turn you in!

    What will happen, O cretins of the coiffure! I'm too faint to continue! By my little brown bottle, I must rest! Click here next month and I shall have written further drivel of the same insulting and meaningless kind as this!

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