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    Go Back  The Jittery Journeys of March 2004  Go Forward
    Greetings, little globules of hair gel and self-infatuation! Welcome to that which you love best, yet another dose of nasty medicine in the form of the vile and the bitter! In fact, they are the prognostications for morbid March! Shush! I'll brook no objections! We will begin right now otherwise my medication will lose its grip and I will lose interest!

    Last month, we left you returned from the caverns of death or at least returned from floating near the ceiling of the hospital while your seemingly lifeless body lay on a bed. You saw the tunnel of light, little pussy creatures! Dead relatives called you from the other side! Ugh! They're bad enough on this side without making guest appearances from across the River Styx. But, in the end, you came back into your body and filled it with the life we have all come to dread. Your own! Sigh!

    Now, you're about to find you're possessed of an uncanny power. No, it's not the one that drives everyone to distraction as you constantly talk about yourself. And, no, it's not the one that reduces everyone to gales of hysterical laughter each time you change your hairstyle to something even more outlandish than the one before. No, little nitwit felines! It's deeper than that! You have been in hell! And now you have the Power!

    Great gods alive and dead! What does this mean, you cry! Well, I'll tell you. Vamping Venus moves into cloddish Taurus and you find people are strangely drawn to you as you arise from your sick bed, much improved. They come close. They offer helping hands. They seem to stare at you as if awaiting instructions. You feel as if you can see right into them, their childish fears, hidden secrets and inmost feelings. How uncanny you've become, little vanities!

    As the Full Moon in wretched Pisces cavorts with jolly Jupiter and mischievous Mercury, you ask for help and people lie at your feet and beg you to walk on them. You're much moved by this and so ask for money. It comes by the wheelbarrow load. You ask for sexual favours and the lustful eye has rarely beheld such contortions as you see that night. Unspeakable planets disport themselves in an unseemly fashion and your life takes a turn down the paths of such pleasure and control as mortals do not often come to know.

    At the Equinox and the New Moon in arrogant Aries, you resolve to live for pleasure alone, for you have the Power now. You see and know the weaknesses of all and thus can command all to do your will. The great Sol Invicti clashes with miserable Saturn! Marauding Mars enters idiot Gemini and wrestles with lunatic Uranus. You look about you, lord of all you survey. You have the Power! You turn and look in the mirror. Great gods alive and dead! Those eyes, you cry! By my little brown bottle, you're using the Power on yourselves, little hairdressing types! What will happen?

    I must rest now. I'm beginning to think clearly and thus realize what I'm doing. Farewell until next time when I shall tell you more about the Power! Ta! Ta!

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