Asperitus Casting Runes...
There you are as the jolly month of June begins, out with all your ridiculous friends discussing the history of hair product and the relative merits of the various hairdressers you've tried and discarded in the preceding six months (you know, the lion and the mane). This last may well number in the thousands if the group of you is sufficiently strong and that certainly could be so, given the jolly gathering taking place in your solar eleventh house of friends, hopes and wishes. As many lively parties as you could wish for, with you and all those superficial morons sitting around discussing your hopes and dreams for the future. Wonderful! It brings a tear to the eye of the backward and impoverished among us. Yes, it's all fun and games for you lovely lions out there. Or so it seems at first!
As June begins, Venus the goddess is in Aries. To throw in a little actual astrology (just by way of a change), that's the beautician (Venus) in the sign of the hairdresser (Aries), quite a joke on the rams of the Zodiac, isn't it. It hardly suits their macho image. Oh well, the ram rules most things to do with the head, but almost nothing that goes on inside it (this being a fair description of your average ram if you think about it). As Venus the goddess begins the journey of June in fiery Aries and your solar ninth house, you might find a foreign hair stylist who excites and titillates your mane from its deepest roots to its tiny shining tips.
However, as I said before, none of this unbridled joy is to last for long. June 4th sees the great Sol Invicti in the sign of Gemini and your solar eleventh house wrestling with Pluto in Sagittarius in your solar fifth house. So, when you go out sporting the new hairdo, you have a serious tiff regarding your coiffure with a close associate. This involves a deadly clash of taste over style or colour or both! Oh yikes! How much more serious could things get! As Mercury the messenger turns retrograde (reverse motion) on the selfsame day, this could result in a temporary suspension of the rules of friendship and a serious split in the aforementioned set of sycophants that hang around with you. Doesn't that get exhausting, keeping company with a group of people whose highest aspiration in life is to say something nice (but patently untrue) about you? Oh well! Each to their own, little lions!
When the FULL MOON comes on June 6th, bringing Sagittarian lunacy to your solar fifth house, your children decide to rebel against your authority (hard to believe, I know). They respond to every direct instruction you give them by making disparaging remarks about your hair and your friends. As Venus the goddess also moves into the Taurus and your solar tenth house, you fall out with the new foreign hair stylist (you went to her/him for counselling but she/he just wasn't sympathetic at all). People at work begin giving you a hard time about your hair as well. There's trouble brewing and you're ready for a fight.
When giant Jupiter opposes retrograde Mars on June 14th, you'll have a fistfight with a foreign theologian, a swordfight with a puritanical senator or perhaps you'll just go home and take your frustrations out on some small animal like you always do. When the great Sol Invicti conjoins with Jupiter the next day, you throw a tantrum at the office, threatening to resign unless they all apologize for the remarks about your hair. No one says anything audible in response. Then when Venus squares mystic Neptune on June 15th, one of the bookkeepers confesses she/he really likes your hair after all. You start an affair with her/him and then try to work out if the two of you can sneak off somewhere and start a new life.
The plans are progressing well and several of the friends that remain to you have offered to help if they can. But when the great Sol Invicti moves into the sign of Cancer and your solar twelfth house on June 21st, bringing a NEW MOON and a solar eclipse, one of your children discovers the affair and the plan, threatening to expose all to your spouse and your boss. You swear the irritating creature to silence by promising to change your will and leave everything to her/him on your death, opening up a new and intriguing line of plot development for the future. When Mercury the messenger goes direct on June 28th, you make up with the friend who insulted your hair. The air resounds with vigorous expostulations to the effect that neither of you can remember why you fell out (as if! You'll get your revenge later on).
When Venus the goddess squares revolutionary Uranus, you end the affair with a turgid display of grief that nearly fuses the bookkeeper's computer and suddenly your life is back to normal. You carry on as though nothing has happened. Although, you will need a new hair stylist soon! Oh, the tragedy of the unfulfilled quest! Still, it gives you something to talk about with your ridiculous friends.
Aries, the Ram
Taurus, the Bull
Gemini, the Twins
Cancer, the Crab
Leo, the Lion
Virgo, the Virgin
Libra, the Scales
Scorpio, the Scorpion
Sagittarius, the Archer
Capricorn, the Sea Goat
Aquarius, the Water Bearer
Pisces, the Fishes