Hola, little horrors of the hair gel brigade! Last time, you were drunk on the elixir of evil and seduced by the glamour of underworld. So charged were you with the thrill of nefarious behaviour that you had cast aside the pretense of any moral code and the mask of civilized behaviour. You were ready to be Pussy Mabusé, a fearsome demon prince of crime, rubbing shoulders with the mysterious Mr Griffin and his ghastly crew of myrmidons and wretches. Thus do I return to the scene of your moral breakdown, feigning interest in your wretched lives for reasons that sublime irritation alone can provide.
Attend me now, frightful felines! This is maudlin May and these are the vile and bitter prognostications that pertain thereto. With marauding Mars in wretched Pisces and your solar eighth house, you gambol in the noxious playing fields of the underworld. You mix with thugs and thieves, hooligans and harlots, scammers and schemers, ram-raiders, roaring boys, cracksmen, cat burglars and, indeed, all manner of the villainous types that roister in the dazzling dark of the criminal kingdom ruled by the lurking Mr Griffin.
Come a New Moon in cloddish Taurus, you swear by this desperate band to make crime your career and the fleecing of innocent citizens your goal and greatest joy in life. Eek! Great gods alive and dead, puling pussies, you've turned from spineless woebegones to hardened criminals in a matter of moments. Isn't that just what one would expect of the devilish machinations of a benighted universe, ruled as it is by insane gods!
Ghastly planets fart in nasty aspect and the signs of cloddish Taurus and nitwit Gemini are involved. Thus do we find you plotting your next criminal move (too odious to speak of in polite society) and hobnobbing with the criminal classes (too hideous to describe) as fulsome friends and bosom buddies! The halls of stone in the palace of Mr Griffin resound with giggles of girlish glee mixed with demonic peels of nasty laughter.
Great thundering elephant's droppings! This is becoming more terrible by the moment! Are you lost to the underworld forever? Let us continue our disturbing investigations into the meaningless round of cosmic events and so discover.
Ye gods, my little tikes! Here's an interesting development. A ghastly Full Moon comes in addlepate Sagittarius and it seems that Pussy's Bow has become the fashion statement of the day. Yikes and double yikes! Everyone is wearing one and the damned things are selling in-store and online across the globe!
What do you think? Pussy Mabusé, criminal mastermind and fashion designer! You're a success in both worlds! Your heart's desire is realized at last! Success! Perhaps you'll have to take a 'nom de couture' so you can have a true double identity, as did other folk, notorious in the annals of crime! You could be just like 'Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde' or 'Albert de Salvo and the Boston Strangler' or 'Bud Abbot and Lou Costello'!
Think of it, fatuous felines! You could become legendary! Mischievous Mercury clatters into nitwit Gemini as vamping Venus clashes with underworld Pluto and you're the darling of the fashion set, scrumming with the media, doing interviews and having your picture snapped. Does your hair look all right? Does your neck look big in Pussy's Bow? Yet all the while, the evil Pussy Mabusé lurks within, giving nasty but secret smiles. And at night you play in the fields of villainy, hatching plots of such a dastardly nature that I'm going to have to take my medicine and go to sleep now so that I can regain the strength necessary to speak of them next month.
Beware, my tiny feline types! It's time for 'mighty boots' to tramp their way into a naughty world. Click here next month and follow the trail of giant steps! Ave!