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    LECHEROUS LIBRA...

    Go Back  The Irksome Journeys of March 2003    Go Forward
    Salutations, O keepers of the sacred buttocks! Made up your minds about anything lately? I thought not! We'd best get on with the vile and bitter prognostications for miserable March then. I seem to remember (through a haze of irritation and quite natural indifference) you were squirming in the clutches of a psychic and drug-addicted minion of the law who, for reasons known only to the insane gods that rule this benighted universe, wanted to have sex with you.

    The month begins with a New Moon in sickening Pisces and your solar sixth house. This is followed by a conjunction of revolutionary Uranus and Mercury the messenger while Venus the goddess is in Aquarius and mighty Mars moves into Capricorn. To add to this list of tedious cosmic folk-dancing, revolutionary Uranus moves into Pisces while the great Sol Invicti clashes with underworld Pluto. So, your would-be suitor abducts you near a busy freeway. Then you catch cold as she/he strips you naked (except, of course, for the mandatory handcuffs) and tries to seduce you in a disused bathing shed at the seaside near your home. Then, when you play hard to get, he subjects you to a vile, but rather stimulating sexual assault while a team of workmen arrive and begin putting in a bypass just across the rise from this den of abduction and illicit sex.

    The Full Moon finds you still thus engaged and taking massive quantities of designer drugs in order to enhance the experience just that little bit more. As the great Sol Invicti and Mercury the messenger move into Aries and your solar seventh house, you are so besotted as to propose marriage to your captor and offer to join the police force so that the two of you can walk the beat together forever. I'm feeling unwell now. I shall have to lie down until next month. Click here and see if I can be bothered waking up!


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    Click here to go to Pisces Click here to go to Aquarius Click here to go to Capricorn Click here to go to Sagittarius Click here to go to Scorpio Click here to go to Libra Click here to go to Virgo Click here to go to Leo Click here to go to Cancer Click here to go to Gemini Click here to go to Taurus Click here to go to Aries


    Aries, the Ram
    Aries, the Ram

    Taurus, the Bull
    Taurus, the Bull

    Gemini, the Twins
    Gemini, the Twins

    Cancer, the Crab
    Cancer, the Crab

    Leo, the Lion
    Leo, the Lion

    Virgo, the Virgin
    Virgo, the Virgin

    Libra, the Scales
    Libra, the Scales

    Scorpio, the Scorpion
    Scorpio, the Scorpion

    Sagittarius, the Archer
    Sagittarius, the Archer

    Capricorn, the Sea Goat
    Capricorn, the Sea Goat

    Aquarius, the Water Bearer
    Aquarius, the Water Bearer

    Pisces, the Fishes
    Pisces, the Fishes

     
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