Astro Shop  |  Glossary  |  Astrology App

  • aries

  • taurus

  • gemini

  • cancer

  • leo

  • virgo

  • libra

  • scorpio

  • sagittarius

  • capricorn

  • aquarius

  • pisces
  • Start Welcome Star Guide Horoscopes Nude Horoscopes Tarotscopes Orders Contact Us Guest Book

     
    Asperitus Casting Runes

    Asperitus Casting Runes...

    Nhill, holy city

    Aries Asp
    Taurus Asp
    Gemini Asp
    Cancer Asp
    Leo Asp
    Virgo Asp
    Libra Asp
    Scorpio Asp
    Sagittarius Asp
    Capricorn Asp
    Aquarius Asp
    Pisces Asp

    Astrology Home
    Horoscopes
    Monthly Horoscopes
    Runes
    Relationships
    Health Astrology
    About Astrology
    Orders
    More Info
    The Zodiac
    About Us

    LECHEROUS LIBRA...

    Go Back  The Irksome Journeys of April 2003    Go Forward
    Greetings, you bothersome trollops of the buttocks persuasion! I hope you're sitting down with your usual 'cheek to cheek' elegance, for the horrors I have to unfold in this month's vile and bitter prognostications will doubtless have you reeling and grasping at any support you can find.

    However, to begin with, I must say that all of your friends (idiots though they be) think you look much better in your new police uniform than you did in any of the other outlandish outfits you're inclined to wear. By the way, April fool for that! You look appalling as usual!

    But what am I saying, little scales type nitwits! This is your wedding day, so how can I be cruel to you? Oh well! On the New Moon you tie the knot or twirl the baton, or whatever it is that police persons do when they get hitched. With mighty Mars and cranky Chiron conjoined in your solar fourth house, you have a moving 'wedding night' experience. You burst into tears and then recount some tragic childhood incident and thus feel closer than ever to your new partner, failing to notice, of course, that she/he has actually fallen asleep earlier in the proceedings.

    As giant Jupiter moves forward, you rise quickly through the ranks of your newly chosen profession. This is largely because of your irritating tendency to see both sides of a question and thus have no actual opinion on anything that can annoy anyone. Mercury the messenger moves into Taurus and you're offered a post, doing undercover work to search out corruption among your colleagues. A raft of irritating astrological aspects too tedious to name sees you succeeding at this new enterprise and doing special training to enhance your skills in deception and equivocation. God help us all if you get any better!

    But, horror of horrors, disaster strikes at the Full Moon where you're forced to turn in your recently acquired spouse. However, you're so pleased with your feats that you no longer care for the consequences. You'll simply buy outfits appropriate for prison visiting. The great Sol Invicti moves into Taurus and you take up a new secret mission. Venus moves into Aries and you adopt a disguise of magnetic beauty. Mighty Mars moves into Aquarius and you find yourself hobnobbing with drug-takers, decadents and thieves.

    But what's this, little scales types? They're your old friends from the media and the entertainment industry. You're going to have to shop them, one and all. Mercury the messenger turns retrograde and you withdraw to consider what you will do. If you actually make a decision for yourself, do let me know. I haven't had a decent laugh since I last heard the phrase 'police intelligence'. Ta ta, little buttocks type nitwits!


    Astrology on the Web



    Click here to go to Pisces Click here to go to Aquarius Click here to go to Capricorn Click here to go to Sagittarius Click here to go to Scorpio Click here to go to Libra Click here to go to Virgo Click here to go to Leo Click here to go to Cancer Click here to go to Gemini Click here to go to Taurus Click here to go to Aries


    Aries, the Ram
    Aries, the Ram

    Taurus, the Bull
    Taurus, the Bull

    Gemini, the Twins
    Gemini, the Twins

    Cancer, the Crab
    Cancer, the Crab

    Leo, the Lion
    Leo, the Lion

    Virgo, the Virgin
    Virgo, the Virgin

    Libra, the Scales
    Libra, the Scales

    Scorpio, the Scorpion
    Scorpio, the Scorpion

    Sagittarius, the Archer
    Sagittarius, the Archer

    Capricorn, the Sea Goat
    Capricorn, the Sea Goat

    Aquarius, the Water Bearer
    Aquarius, the Water Bearer

    Pisces, the Fishes
    Pisces, the Fishes

    privacy policy