Asperitus Casting Runes...
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Hola, keepers of the sacred buttocks and frequenters of beauty parlours, boutiques and brothels. Last month we left you about to go undercover in your new role in the police force. However, your targets were to be a decadent collection of old friends and associates in the media. What will you do, little scales persons? Will you carry out this devious subterfuge or will you throw off the mantle of disguise and return to your wicked ways? It's gratifying for me to help you begin the month with two options from which to choose and thus help to perpetuate the mind-wracking indecision for which your imbecilic sign is justly famous. Now, on with the vile and bitter prognostications for miserable March.
We begin with a New Moon in Taurus with aspects to mystic Neptune and the odious little Mercury the messenger still retrograde. You waver precariously between one option and another, unable to make the new start required by the cosmos. Instead you go out and thrash the credit card on intoxicating substances and loose companions. As the messenger clashes with mighty Mars and mystic Neptune, you get caught up in a fracas whilst out clubbing. But with Venus the goddess, underworld Pluto and sober Saturn all doing something or other in the heavens, you worm you way out of trouble by appealing to an elderly in-law with a legal background.
However, come the Full Moon in Scorpio and the lunar eclipse, you're so desperate for money because of recent spending that you're forced to get on with the job. Venus the goddess moves into Taurus and you're moving among old friends, cleverly disguised, of course. But what happens next? My god, it's disaster, little scales creatures! Mercury the messenger moves forward, squaring giant Jupiter and someone recognizes that simpering laugh of yours. Your cover is blown!
The great Sol Invicti moves into Gemini, clashing with revolutionary Uranus in Pisces. You feign a seizure and flee from the room, raving in an obscure foreign tongue. Venus the goddess and Mercury meet and then clash with mystic Neptune. You weave a cloak of deceit around you, telling your superiors you're onto something but sending mysterious emails to your media friends, hinting that you're working undercover in the police force to expose corruption among the minions of the law.
As the New Moon comes in Gemini and your solar ninth house, bringing an eclipse, you board a plane for foreign climes in an effort to wipe out your past and begin again. Will your daring plan succeed? And will the seat covers in the plane go with that jacket you've just bought? Only time will tell, little scales creatures, that is if time is fool enough to pay attention to the course of your pitiful lives. Click here next month. If the pain is tolerable, I may write more of this drivel.
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Aries, the Ram
Taurus, the Bull
Gemini, the Twins
Cancer, the Crab
Leo, the Lion
Virgo, the Virgin
Libra, the Scales
Scorpio, the Scorpion
Sagittarius, the Archer
Capricorn, the Sea Goat
Aquarius, the Water Bearer
Pisces, the Fishes
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