Asperitus Casting Runes...
Your solar ninth house is up and jumping yet again with a glittering stellium of Gemini energy. If you happen to like the company of these vapid little two-faced airheads then I guess you'll be in for a really jolly month. Personally, I think they'd all be better off in labour camps with sticky tape over their mouths, but then I freely acknowledge that one can be arrested and incarcerated for doing a lot of the things that I like to do. So for all you keepers of the sacred scales, enjoy the company of a lot of hot air if you dare.
With sober Saturn, the great Sol Invicti, giant Jupiter and Mercury the messenger all hobnobbing in this peculiarly irritating sign and your solar ninth house, you'll get old ones, young ones, educated ones (they use longer words) and teenage ones. Some of you may wisely try to avoid the experience altogether by travelling overseas but that, unfortunately, is where you're most likely to run into a gaggle of them. They'll probably be congregating in New York or London or the Indian Ocean (hopefully right in the middle of it), on some viscerally expensive junket for the lunatic media or technology companies they work for. You'll best avoid them by staying at home and visiting the hotels, clubs, hairdressing salons and brothels you normally frequent, especially after June 6th, when Venus the goddess moves into Taurus and your solar eighth house. Stick with the tried and true this month, little 'scales' persons! But you didn't 'click here' to read about annoying Geminis, did you! No! You came to read about the important and truly interesting things in life, yourselves! So, on we go with the month ahead for the keepers of the scales and beautiful buttocks. If you're wondering about the 'buttocks' reference, we covered that (to the great relief of us all, let me say) last month so do try to keep up!
The jolly month of June begins quite stressfully for you poor little air sign tragedies. With hideous underworld Pluto in Sagittarius wrestling with the great Sol Invicti in Gemini in your solar ninth house, your world of communications and travel could be torn apart by power struggles, stresses, tensions and accidents. You might spill cappuccino on your best suit while taking the train to work.
This state of tension peaks on June 4th when Mercury the messenger also moves into retrograde (reverse motion) phase, throwing a few more spanners into the already failing works. If no one seems to understand you for the next thirty days, it'll be just like the rest of your life, I suppose. You might have a disagreement with an obnoxious Gemini (you see, they're back in the conversation again. They're just so hard to get rid of!). Anyway, you might have a disagreement with same at a hobby store or primary school, and then throw sticky food down the front of that absurd brightly coloured clothing they always wear. Only it turns out that this particular Gemini is an important contact in an online publishing firm you're trying to get money from for the script of that extravagant new mini-series you're writing. It's based on your life so why on earth you think normal people would pay money to see it, I don't know! You'd have to pay the audience to come, just like they do on Jerry Springer or Ricki Lake. They make quite a good comparison, really, as the intellectual standard's about the same, though of course your show would be better dressed, that's if pretentious and decadent is still popular. Anyway, whatever to all that because the chance has gone west with the sticky food on the clothes.
The second week of June turns into a double nightmare as all kinds of astrological stuff (it would bore you to screaming sobs to detail it, so I won't) brings litigations, court action and traffic accidents involving academics, priests or persons of foreign extraction. Suffice it to say that the deal is off with the online publishing company (air signs can be quite vindictive, you know. Of course you know!). Come June 15th, Venus the goddess squares revolutionary Uranus and Mercury the messenger opposes Chiron so you'll either start an affair, go on a spending spree and or make a week long appointment with your therapist because nobody understands you anymore.
By June 18th, your therapist has had to go into therapy too and a whole group of shrinks get together to organize a competition to see which one of them can listen to you the longest without hitting you. When the great Sol Invicti moves into Cancer and your solar tenth house, bringing the NEW MOON and a solar eclipse, your children leave home because they all get really good jobs, making you feel a little upset but mostly jealous and resentful of their success. When Mercury the messenger goes direct on June 28th, the online publishing group gets back in touch. It's the Gemini! She/he wants you to write a film script about how some lunatic threw sticky food on her/his clothing, ruining her/his image and forcing her/him into ninety five minutes of therapy on the mobile to some shrink in New York. You agree.
But then when Venus the goddess squares revolutionary Uranus on June 30th, you suddenly realize that the script is about you! Heavens! You tell the Gemini to piss off and then go on a spending spree, start an affair or book in a week with your therapist. She/he won the competition incidentally, proving that experience counts. The rest of them wanted to hit you on sight! There's no accounting for taste, is there, little 'scales' persons! May your buttocks always go with you and see you next month!
Aries, the Ram
Taurus, the Bull
Gemini, the Twins
Cancer, the Crab
Leo, the Lion
Virgo, the Virgin
Libra, the Scales
Scorpio, the Scorpion
Sagittarius, the Archer
Capricorn, the Sea Goat
Aquarius, the Water Bearer
Pisces, the Fishes