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    Go Back  The Jittery Journeys of June 2004  Go Forward
    Tally ho and yoicks, little keepers of the buttocks! How are your honeysuckle ‘pear shapes’ this month? Still engaged in the decadent doings of last month’s healing sanctuary shenanigans? Let us take a look at the vile and bitter prognostications for jaded June and see!

    An explosive Full Moon in idiot Sagittarius sends this whole extravaganza spinning out of control. You reel, you fall, you lose consciousness, you awake and then flee these foreign lands, seeing this decadent sham for what it is. Vamping Venus eclipses the great Sol Invicti in your solar ninth house as hideous planets meet in nasty aspect in the Heavens. You find yourself on the loose and travelling, with little to your name but the few shreds of self-respect you generally cling in your deluded manner.

    You are battered by unfriendly foreigners, passing vehicles and by the forces of Mother Nature herself. Great gods alive and dead, is everyone against me, you cry! Of course, we all respond!

    But what’s this? By my little brown bottle, it appears there’s a light at the end of the tunnel for you, my little decadent wastrels! The New Moon comes in idiot Gemini and your solar ninth house and your find yourself, exhausted, near demented at the gates of a monastery high in the hills of some wild far land. Gentle, feminine hands minister to your weary limbs for you have fallen in among an order of nuns. Cared for you are, yet no speech do you have with them for they appear to be a silent order.

    It seems you may have to talk to yourself if you want conversation, but that may be a blessing from every point of view. All night there is only the soughing of the breeze, the creaking of shutters and your own tragic tears to bring the solace of sound. The great Sol Invicti ushers in the Solstice and you’re finally brought, after this recuperation, to meet the woman who is apparently the head of these silent, mysterious folk.

    A creature of aged but almost infinite beauty greets you, explaining that she may speak in order to explain the nature of the company you’ve come among. This is a compassionate order, you discover, devoting their efforts to assisting witless wayfarers such as yourself and also abandoned children and animals. The wise one asks if you would wish to join them and assist in this heavenly mission.

    As marauding Mars crashes into loathsome Leo and your solar eleventh house while lugubrious Saturn clashes with nasty Neptune, you leap to your feet and cry aloud your passionate assent. Mischievous Mercury conjoins with Saturn and you receive instruction with regard to your duties and conduct from the aged mystical beauty who heads the order. Vamping Venus goes direct and you rise from your sleeping mat on your first day, ready to do good in the world and thus erase the nightmare of the healing journey that went wrong so disastrously awry.

    Will you now walk the paths of devotion and find the ways of your spirit, little Scales type nitwits? Or will you be sat upon your pear-shaped buttocks yet again? Only time and the oracle will tell. Click here next month for more of the bitter truth!

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