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    PATHETIC PISCES...

    Go Back  The Irksome Journeys of February 2003    Go Forward
    Greetings, miserable fish-faces! Are your lives still as tragic as ever? Are you still walking the trail of tears with that idiotic look of suffering on your faces? Then let us proceed to the vile and bitter prognostications for fatuous February as all is right with the world. A vile New Moon comes in vacuous Aquarius and your solar twelfth house, with potent aspects between mighty Mars, mystic Neptune and the great Sol Invicti. You'll either have a profound spiritual experience and come to know enlightenment or get drunk at a party and have sex with a foreign bilingual authority figure, probably involved in the liquor trade. With a raft of tedious planets in lugubrious Capricorn and your solar eleventh house, your friends will either form a cult to revere your newfound enlightenment or comfort you because this latest affair comes to a tragic end, just like all the ones before it. Either way, the end will be the same. They will drift away because they have other, more important things to do, like cutting their nails, vacuuming their floors and washing their hair. Then, as Mercury the messenger moves into Aquarius and your solar twelfth house, you start talking to your imaginary friends again to cheer yourself up. However, this also fails miserably as you manage to smash the company car while in mid conversation and thus get fired. As the Full Moon comes in Leo and your solar sixth house, opposing revolutionary Uranus, you go to see an alternative therapist who tells you that it's the world that's mad while you are perfectly sane. That will certainly be the best laugh that anyone's had in a long time but it won't cheer you up. Mighty Mars then opposes sober Saturn in Gemini and your solar fourth house so your family gets on your back about losing your job and one of your grandparents begins to shout abuse and throw things every time you come home. As Mercury the messenger conjoins with mystic Neptune and the great Sol Invicti moves into your sign, you begin taking designer drugs, lapse into delirious and ill-judged fantasies and then trudge off into the unknown to discover horizons new. Farewell, little fish-faces, for this month at least!


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    Aries, the Ram
    Aries, the Ram

    Taurus, the Bull
    Taurus, the Bull

    Gemini, the Twins
    Gemini, the Twins

    Cancer, the Crab
    Cancer, the Crab

    Leo, the Lion
    Leo, the Lion

    Virgo, the Virgin
    Virgo, the Virgin

    Libra, the Scales
    Libra, the Scales

    Scorpio, the Scorpion
    Scorpio, the Scorpion

    Sagittarius, the Archer
    Sagittarius, the Archer

    Capricorn, the Sea Goat
    Capricorn, the Sea Goat

    Aquarius, the Water Bearer
    Aquarius, the Water Bearer

    Pisces, the Fishes
    Pisces, the Fishes

     
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