Asperitus Casting Runes...
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Greetings, miserable fish-faces! Are your lives still as tragic as ever? Are you still walking the trail of tears with that idiotic look of suffering on your faces? Then let us proceed to the vile and bitter prognostications for fatuous February as all is right with the world. A vile New Moon comes in vacuous Aquarius and your solar twelfth house, with potent aspects between mighty Mars, mystic Neptune and the great Sol Invicti. You'll either have a profound spiritual experience and come to know enlightenment or get drunk at a party and have sex with a foreign bilingual authority figure, probably involved in the liquor trade. With a raft of tedious planets in lugubrious Capricorn and your solar eleventh house, your friends will either form a cult to revere your newfound enlightenment or comfort you because this latest affair comes to a tragic end, just like all the ones before it. Either way, the end will be the same. They will drift away because they have other, more important things to do, like cutting their nails, vacuuming their floors and washing their hair. Then, as Mercury the messenger moves into Aquarius and your solar twelfth house, you start talking to your imaginary friends again to cheer yourself up. However, this also fails miserably as you manage to smash the company car while in mid conversation and thus get fired. As the Full Moon comes in Leo and your solar sixth house, opposing revolutionary Uranus, you go to see an alternative therapist who tells you that it's the world that's mad while you are perfectly sane. That will certainly be the best laugh that anyone's had in a long time but it won't cheer you up. Mighty Mars then opposes sober Saturn in Gemini and your solar fourth house so your family gets on your back about losing your job and one of your grandparents begins to shout abuse and throw things every time you come home. As Mercury the messenger conjoins with mystic Neptune and the great Sol Invicti moves into your sign, you begin taking designer drugs, lapse into delirious and ill-judged fantasies and then trudge off into the unknown to discover horizons new. Farewell, little fish-faces, for this month at least!
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Aries, the Ram
Taurus, the Bull
Gemini, the Twins
Cancer, the Crab
Leo, the Lion
Virgo, the Virgin
Libra, the Scales
Scorpio, the Scorpion
Sagittarius, the Archer
Capricorn, the Sea Goat
Aquarius, the Water Bearer
Pisces, the Fishes
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