Asperitus Casting Runes...
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- Greetings, piscatorial tragedies! Last month we set you on a new course as a beautiful stranger came into your life and whisked you away. However, as retrograde Mars dances with eccentric Uranus in your sign, things won't work out. This creature will be run over by a bus, argue with you and storm off or simply remember that they have something much more important to do.
Under a raft of astrological aspects too tedious to name, several things may happen from here. If the beautiful stranger is run over by a bus, you'll receive damages but spend all the money on drink and drugs. If you have a row, you'll go to court and sue for breach of promise, win the case and spend all the money on drink and drugs. If they simply go away to do something more important, they'll pay you to stop following them, thus giving you money to spend on drink and drugs. Just choose the option that seems most appropriate and proceed to the Full Moon in your own miserable sign. Once there, you fight with everyone around you about things you forget the moment they're said and then storm off to your bedroom in a huff and cry yourself to sleep.
As the domestic atmosphere is now poisonous, you visit an elderly relative in a nursing home. Once there, you complain about how unfair life is even though the relative is both deaf and demented, but you still ask to be included in the will because you've been so kind as to visit.
Nitwit Uranus then moves back into Aquarius so you have a sudden change of heart about everything and forget whatever's happened in the last few months. When you arrive home, Mercury goes direct so everyone is talking to you again. The great Sol Invicti moves into Libra, bringing a New Moon in that odious sign. Thus you start having lots of sex, spending lots of money and taking drugs or drinking heavily.
When mighty Mars goes direct, you suddenly remember you're very rich because you're a famous healer and start to wonder why you don't do it anymore. You then argue with a staff member, fall down the stairs while inebriated and wonder why you get the impression all this has happened before. On that note, I'd like to sleep now too as I'm feeling unwell! Farewell, piscatorial tragedies! Until next time!
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Aries, the Ram
Taurus, the Bull
Gemini, the Twins
Cancer, the Crab
Leo, the Lion
Virgo, the Virgin
Libra, the Scales
Scorpio, the Scorpion
Sagittarius, the Archer
Capricorn, the Sea Goat
Aquarius, the Water Bearer
Pisces, the Fishes
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