Astrology on the Web - Pathetic Pisces

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The Oracle of Bitter Truth for June 2001
PATHETIC PISCES...

'What more can a poor fish do?' The title of a popular song from some years ago, put out oddly enough by the Finn Brothers. And why do I mention it? Because, little fish faces, that's what you'll no doubt be singing by the middle of the godforsaken month of June.

No, I lie! It's going to be a jolly time all round for those who like to revel in your miseries. And who likes to engage in these revels more than the rest of us? You do, of course! No one enjoys your own pathetic fate more than you do. What else would you fish faces have to talk about if your lives weren't filled with misery, secret sorrows, losses and abandonment? And what other compelling reason could there be for your legendary reputation with alcohol and drugs if not the utter worthlessness of your lives and the hopelessness of your condition? If you weren't miserable, how could you enjoy a drink and a smoke?

Believe me, little finny ones, your misery is the shining treasure and joy in this otherwise futile ocean of drudgery. I know what you're going to say. What about the religious fervour and devotion for which your sign is known. There's no misery there. All is peace, light and goodness! And what about the apostle John, John the beloved to his friends, you ask? He was a legendary Pisces and a fount of ecstatic joy to himself and all who knew him. Was this John the beloved not the author of a gospel and the book of Revelations? It's time you knew the truth. Most of this surreal nonsense about beasts and dragons and the plain of Armageddon was written under the influence of an evil Hebrew beverage. It was known to induce severe hallucinations, and the apostles were nothing more than a front for the drug barons that peddled this evil substance across the greater Roman Empire. Sad, but true! Well! I've been waiting for the lightning bolt to strike but nothing has happened as yet so I'll continue on this sacrilegious course that I've begun. No, I won't! I'll make predictions about the month of June instead. And, if you've got nothing better to do, you could just come with me on that journey, little fish!

As the jolly month of June begins, the great Sol Invicti in Gemini and underworld Pluto in Sagittarius are wrestling in the Heavens, stirring up trouble in your solar fourth and tenth houses. There'll be trouble at work and conflict at home and you, poor fish faces, will be pulled between the two of them until you no longer know which way to swim. These stresses culminate on June 4th when Mercury the messenger turns retrograde in Gemini and your solar fourth house, causing confusion and argument on the domestic front. When the FULL MOON comes on June 6th after a meeting with underworld Pluto, there are clashes at work, and home begins to drive you even further round the bend. As Venus the goddess moves into Taurus and your solar third house on the selfsame day, you decide to move out of home and take leave from your job. You take up residence in the third carriage of a regular train that travels to and from the seaside. At least there you can get some peace and the meals at the various stations aren't that bad, at least not by your standards.

However, it wouldn't be your life if tragedy weren't lurking just around the corner. And it is! After getting caught up in a clash between striking railway workers and police on June 12th when giant Jupiter opposes retrograde Mars, the train that you're travelling on is part of a mid June mishap.

With Venus the goddess squaring Neptune in your solar twelfth house and the great Sol Invicti conjoined with Jupiter and opposing Chiron, there's a black day for the railway. After a shocking derailment, you lose your memory and become mixed up with a party of foreign, religious infant teachers on a holiday from the subcontinent. On June 18th, with giant Jupiter conjoins with retrograde Mercury, you fly out with them. Then when the great Sol Invicti moves into Cancer and your solar fifth house on June 21st, bringing the NEW MOON and a solar eclipse, you take up a post, teaching infants far across the sea. But what's this? When Mercury the messenger goes direct on June 28th, you suddenly remember who you are and start asking people why it's so hot and who all these kids are. With Venus the goddess squaring revolutionary Uranus on June 30th, you board a plane to fly back home, wondering why your life is so weird. As if anyone else could explain it! We can't.