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    Go Back  The Jittery Journeys of June 2004  Go Forward
    Greetings, my little fish-faced imbeciles! How is everything in the watery domain of your pedal extremities, your native rulership? It hardly seems fair now, does it! Arrogant Aries gets the head, endless flocks of fleecy white sheep and those nicely curved ram’s horns! Neurotic Cancer gets the breasts and those succulent shellfish! And what do you get? Water and feet! No wonder you wander about this benighted universe looking like a wet pair of socks!

    Ah well! Enough of this badinage! Let us get down to the business of prognostications, vile and bitter, pertaining to the month of jaded June. Last time we left you standing on your head, perhaps because your weak feet aren’t really fit to support you. However, despite such speculations, it appeared that others had come to believe you were a spiritual leader of some kind and had thus come to sit at your feet, or head rather, in your appointed position as leader of the cult of the headstand. And yes! All this is really as stupid as it sounds! But then people still talk about world peace, don’t they! Back to the story!

    The Full Moon in loathsome Sagittarius sees you established in your rustic domain as a teacher beyond compare by folk who obviously don’t get about enough. Vamping Venus eclipses the great Sol Invicti as a ghastly planets fart in the cosmic winds and you dance your divine dance and bask in the adulation of your acolytes and devotees.

    A New Moon comes in idiot Gemini and you command that leafy shelters be built to house the faithful. Mischievous Mercury races into neurotic Cancer, leading the great Sol Invicti to the Solstice and you found a blissful bucolic retreat and begin to teach the great spiritual truths (seven of them no doubt) through the exotic waving of your legs.

    However, at the end of the month, vamping Venus goes direct and you decide you’re sick of living in the forest, having nuts and leaves in your crack, grass in your hair and doing without decent food and regular showers. Thus you have your followers carry you, still in the inverted pose, to a new and as yet undecided location. Click here next month and find out where you’re going to next as this new chapter of your damp and generally miserable life unfolds.

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