Asperitus Casting Runes...
What ho, my little fish-faced tragedies! How goes the state of inversion? Still waving your lower extremities in the air? Gods, the very thought of it is so gruesome I’m almost too ill to continue let alone listen to whatever inane answer you may conceive. So, by my little brown bottle, say nothing and I’ll get on with the vile and bitter prognostications for joyless July.
And here they are! As the Full Moon comes in the miserable sign of the Goat, your brainless followers carry you from the forest in search of a new home, which will doubtless be somewhere or other. However, more importantly, marauding Mars clashes with idiot Uranus and you fall, hook, line and sinker into a trance as you’re being born through the air upside down.
Ye gods and little fishes, blithering idiots, you begin to see visions and dream dreams. And on a grand scale! You swim in an ocean of them. Let no one say you’re a flake when it comes to the realm of the imagination! The great Sol Invicti conjoins with sober Saturn and you are a mighty ruler (in your dreams), sitting in your place of power on a throne.
But what’s this? Marauding Mars and mischievous Mercury clash with the Lunar Nodes and storm clouds gather as wild folk flex their muscles and call for war. Politicians speak red herrings or codswallop! The wise ones flounder! The masses grope for a solution.
Great gods alive and dead, what’s this? Why, they come to you, wittering ninnies, for you are a mighty ruler! At the New Moon in odious Cancer, they pack like sardines into your corridors of power (painful!). They ask you for a solution to this worldwide problem of unrest. You mull it over. As vamping Venus clashes with jolly Jupiter, you prance up and down in your salmon pink robes (the ones with the scalloped edging), pretending to engage in intelligent thought while the crowd wails for an answer.
You call for a piano tuner so you can play beautiful music and thus relax your mind in order to make such a momentous decision but someone in the crowd sharks his tuning instruments. As vamping Venus clashes with underworld Pluto, the world waits on your word. Mischievous Mercury enters Virgo and a cacophony of voices babbles in your ears.
And then what happens? Why, my fishy folk, it’s a blue moon! A ‘once in a while’ event! Yes, the Full Moon comes in lunatic Aquarius and you awake from these piscatorial visions to find your followers have found a new home for you! Great gods alive and dead, where is it? And where are you? But that’s enough for now. Fin, for the moment. Ta! Ta!