Asperitus Casting Runes...
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After last month's adventures on the railways and journeys into foreign climes (with a little amnesia thrown in), you're back for another weird month in your peculiar life, little finny ones. The month of July promises definite improvement, especially if you like drunkenness, drug-taking, licentious behaviour and sexual profligacy...
However, like most things in your life, the month begins badly. When the FULL MOON comes in Capricorn and your solar eleventh house, bringing a lunar eclipse, you may lose a friend or two. This will probably be because of you're constant whining and complaining as you recount the tragic events from the jolly month of June to the unspeakable tedium of all within earshot.
As Venus the goddess moves into Gemini, your solar fourth house, on the same day, you start sulking because your friends hate you (there's a lifetime's work in that strategy) and take refuge in your home once more, thereupon deciding to redecorate. After painting all the rooms in lilac and lavender and all of those other dreadful colours you like, you throw a massive party when giant Jupiter and Mercury the messenger conjoin and move into Cancer, your solar fifth house.
The party continues for days with the behaviour described above dominating the list of activities. In fact, several persons who have inhaled or ingested their way to a state of permanent ill-health take up residence in your spare bedroom as Venus the goddess and Saturn, lord of fateful reward, meet in Gemini, your solar fourth house on July 15th. Because of their weakened condition, you're forced to minister to them in that vapid but overly sympathetic way you little finny ones have about you. Then, on July 17th when Lady Moon and Venus the goddess conjoin to oppose underworld Pluto, you fall desperately in love with one (or more) of these poor straightened creatures, making the most of the parts of them that still do work.
However, the very next day when Mercury the messenger makes cosmic mischief with revolutionary Uranus and mystic Neptune, you overhear a secret conversation between these supposed incapacitates only to discover they're not really ill! They're only taking advantage of your hospitality and if it wasn't for all the drugs and food, they wouldn't put up with your intrusive emotional attentions and lousy sexual performance. With mighty Mars the ruler of sharp instruments still retrograde in your solar tenth house, this cuts you to the quick. How painful is a cut 'quick' little finny ones? Only you can say. Nonetheless, you are outraged and race into the room, threatening to whine and complain to them, all the while grieving aloud to express the hurt done to your almost inconsolable spirit. By the time you've blown your nose three times, they're running down the road, half-dressed and gibbering with terror.
In the outside world (you remember that don't you?), things take a dramatic turn. With mighty Mars in Sagittarius and your solar tenth house now moving forward, you end up with a promotion at work. And, with giant Jupiter in Cancer harmonizing with your essentially piscatorial nature, you have a big win on lotto or the races. Some things in this random and insane universe do go well, even for those as pathetic as you are. So, by the time the NEW MOON comes in Cancer and your solar fifth house of pleasure and recreation on July 20th, you've decided to forgive everyone who's ever taken advantage of you and hold another party, inviting them all. Once bitten, twice bitten again, little finny ones? I expect so!
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Aries, the Ram
Taurus, the Bull
Gemini, the Twins
Cancer, the Crab
Leo, the Lion
Virgo, the Virgin
Libra, the Scales
Scorpio, the Scorpion
Sagittarius, the Archer
Capricorn, the Sea Goat
Aquarius, the Water Bearer
Pisces, the Fishes
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