 aries  taurus  gemini  cancer  leo  virgo  libra  scorpio  sagittarius  capricorn  aquarius  pisces |
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 Asperitus Casting Runes... |
I would like to say that it's good to talk to you again, you sorrowful little fishface persons. I would like to say that but I just can't. It's not that I can't lie! I can and I do! And it would be a lie, of course, as I hate talking to everybody in general but certainly to you in particular. It's just that not even someone as gullible as you are would believe as big a lie as that. And, if you think that's insulting then just wait till I warm to the task that lies before me, my vile and bitter prognostications on your sad and pathetic fate. Wake up, you rulers of the secret sorrows! Life calls and you're expected to answer. Though what in god's name life would actually want you for is a mystery I cannot fathom. And I, Asperitus, master of the bitter truth have fathomed more mysteries than your paltry sign could even begin to count. You'd certainly run out of fingers and toes very quickly.
Awful August begins with sober Saturn, lord of fateful reward testing your mettle by duelling with underworld Pluto, stirring up matters in your solar fourth and tenth houses. Your new responsibilities at work are doubtless giving you emotional problems and your general tendency towards dithering has already angered several of your superiors who simply shout at you and expect you to do things properly. How unreasonable! How unfeasible! Still, at least you have the party to come home to. Surely you remember that fateful fiasco you began at the end of last month when you won all that money and decided to throw a party to show that you forgave everyone for everything. Well, it's going apace in your home as the month begins. Drug-dealers, pimps, prostitutes, psychics, artists, alcoholics, cross-dressers, in fact all of your usual circle have taken up residence. And, as Venus the goddess moves into Cancer and your solar fifth house, chasing after giant Jupiter, your home is awash with this endlessly inebriated throng of merrymakers. You drift through the next few days, a stranger at work, feeling like a guest in your own home, anxious yet detached, wondering if you've felt like this all of your life. You have, in fact. It's just gets boring pointing it out to you because you forget things so quickly. When the FULL MOON comes on August 4th and Venus the goddess conjoins with giant Jupiter, suddenly you see the eyes of a stranger across a crowded room. It's love at first sight, little fishface, for you anyway. As regards your opposite number, she/he thinks you're having problems with your contact lenses or simply presumes that you always look that way when you're stoned. She/he still comes up to talk to you (out of pity or boredom) and you decide there and then that she/he is the one for you. You propose marriage and because she/he speaks no English at all, you mistake her/his response for consent. You set to and make plans for the wedding. However, when Mercury the messenger opposes revolutionary Uranus on August 10th, you discover (by means of a translator) that she/he is either already married or is a heroin addict or a prostitute or perhaps all three as you're prone to making really tragic mistakes as a general rule. But when Mercury the messenger moves into Virgo and your solar seventh house, you find that she/he is desperate for a passport to stay in the country and now that she/he has realized (by means of the translator) you've proposed marriage, she/he accepts. Members of her/his family begin to move into your house though because the party's still going strong, you hardly notice. Come a series of fateful aspects leading to a NEW MOON in Leo and your solar sixth house, you've now fallen out of love and gone off the idea of marriage altogether. However, you decide to change jobs and go into social work by opening up your home as a shelter for addicts and the economically inept. Your home is already full of such people anyway. You call them your friends. So, there's hardly any adjustment to your lifestyle except that you don't leave for work each morning as it already awaits you at home. By the time the great Sol Invicti moves into Virgo and your solar seventh house and mighty Mars and Chiron conjoin in Sagittarius and your solar tenth house, your ex-fiancee moves in as your first social work client. You wonder if you should have sex with her/him as you don't actually know how to help people in any real way. You do, but this begins a period of fighting and squabbling amongst your house guests who are now all your clients. When the great Sol Invicti makes tension with mystic Neptune and Mercury the messenger creates havoc with Chiron and mighty Mars, you realize that all this unpleasantness stems from the fact the she/he is actually having sex with everyone there (being a prostitute). This is made clear to you because her family members (who've all moved into your house) pull guns on everyone (including you) and demand money to pay for all the sex that's been had. You ask them to leave but they just laugh and threaten to shoot you. You're a prisoner in your own home, little fishface. Held to ransom by violent people over a sexual encounter you now regret! Oh well, just another day in the life of a fishface on the trail of secret sorrows!  |
 Aries, the Ram  Taurus, the Bull  Gemini, the Twins  Cancer, the Crab  Leo, the Lion  Virgo, the Virgin  Libra, the Scales  Scorpio, the Scorpion  Sagittarius, the Archer  Capricorn, the Sea Goat  Aquarius, the Water Bearer  Pisces, the Fishes |
