Asperitus Casting Runes...
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Ho to the wild and rascally centaurs! Ho to the cowboys and cowgirls, born under the unspeakable ninth sign of the entirely disagreeable Zodiac! We left you last month in stormy seas, little centaurs, diving for gold with your usual implacable pluck and your inexhaustible supply of wind. You were down and out until you met a stranger in a warehouse who gave you sex and promised you a fortune. So, let us see if this absurd story has any further mileage or perhaps we shall discover instead that it has degenerated entirely into the mound of unutterable tripe it always seemed to be.
Giant Jupiter in Cancer and your solar eighth house starts proceedings by wrestling with the great Sol Invicti and Venus the goddess in Capricorn and your solar second house. Financial problems beset you on all sides, little centaurs, and a wild scheme to find some undersea gold could be just the thing to save you. With a consortium of irritable financiers and the inevitable doom of the terminator on your trail, it's certainly a miracle that you need. The waves thrash about you as you and your newfound love (and assorted crewpersons she/he hurriedly produces from out of nowhere) sail out to unlock the secrets of the deeps. When Mercury the messenger moves into Aquarius, heading for a meeting with mystic Neptune, your find yourself communicating from under the waves with your companions above. The search is on. And, what ho, little centaurs, but this may be easier than you thought.
As the great Sol Invicti and Venus the goddess conjoin in the sign of Capricorn in preparation for the NEW MOON, an ancient hulk reveals itself before your questing goggles. There's gold in them thar bilges, O rustic herdspersons! And your bacon may now be saved! You start sending up the chests of precious yellow metal. As mighty Mars makes tension with the Lunar Nodes, strange and fearsome sea creatures swim around you, seeming far too interested in the kind of meal that you might make. However, fearless and intrepid adventurer that you are, the last chest finally goes up to the surface. Mighty Mars moves into Aries and your solar fifth house while Mercury the messenger turns retrograde. You front up briefly to the irritable servants of Mammon, paying all your debts and telling them to take life a little less seriously and thereby have a little more fun, as you do. You then return to the orgy of sex and drugs and rock 'n' roll paid for by your startling find beneath the waves. It seems your legendary luck has once again overcome the impediments created by your complete lack of sensitivity, taste and judgement. A tribute to the mental state of those insane gods who rule this benighted world, no doubt!
A raft of irritating planets now infest the ghastly sign of Aquarius while opposing the FULL MOON in Leo and your solar ninth house. You are thus inspired by the idea of a remarkable scheme. If gold is so easily won from the ocean floor, why not use the profits from this venture to finance a great expedition to countries, hot and exotic, and fish more treasure from their harbours, seas and rivers? And so with a jaunty stride and a cheerful whistle, while mighty Mars squares giant Jupiter, you walk straight back to the offices of your one time enemies in the financial trade and ask them if they'd like to invest in this wonderful new scheme of yours. Little centaurs, it seems that nothing will ever dent that confidence of yours. Or will it! We shall see. Click here next month.
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Aries, the Ram
Taurus, the Bull
Gemini, the Twins
Cancer, the Crab
Leo, the Lion
Virgo, the Virgin
Libra, the Scales
Scorpio, the Scorpion
Sagittarius, the Archer
Capricorn, the Sea Goat
Aquarius, the Water Bearer
Pisces, the Fishes
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