Asperitus Casting Runes...
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Greetings, dear centaur persons! How are your frisky little hoofs this month? Still going everywhere at the gallop and crashing into the furniture? Well, enough pleasantries! Let us hie to the vile and bitter prognostications for miserable March.
A New Moon comes in brutish Taurus and your solar sixth house of work and health. As there are nasty aspects to mighty Mars and mystic Neptune, you may fight with your co-workers over small deceptions and imagined slights. You may be overcome with fatigue or fall prey to a mysterious infection. With Mercury the messenger still retrograde in the same odious placement as last month, you will communicate badly with co-workers and suffer mishaps and appliance failures in the work place. God, I'm exhausted! That's enough real astrology for any sane person!
As mighty Mars heads towards mystic Neptune, opposing giant Jupiter, your car breaks suffers a mysterious engine failure and you career headlong into a bright blue BMW driven by wealthy political activist who's just come back from living abroad. After a brief but menacing dance where you threaten each other with Swiss Army Knives, boasting about your legal knowledge (Mars, Neptune and Mercury may be the cause of this if you're interested. I'm not), you then decide to go to the pub, get drunk together and become bosom buddies.
The Full Moon comes in Scorpio and your solar twelfth house, bringing an eclipse and your find yourself sobering up in what turns out to be a mortuary, with no recollection of what you've been doing. As Venus the goddess moves into Taurus at the same time, you soon find out that you've lost your job and your new family is more than happy to lose you.
As the great Sol Invicti moves into Gemini and your solar seventh house, clashing with revolutionary Uranus in Pisces and your solar fourth house, you find yourself living in a shelter for disabled dock-workers. As you're broke, you try to sue your ex-employers for back wages. They, however, tell you that, with all your absenteeism, they should be suing you so you give that one up.
As the New Moon comes in Gemini, bringing a solar eclipse to your house of partnership, you find yourself alone in life, with no one to care for you and only a bevy of doughty dockers with nervous afflictions for company. Shall we sing sad songs and write the funeral oration, little centaur types? Click here next month and see.
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Aries, the Ram
Taurus, the Bull
Gemini, the Twins
Cancer, the Crab
Leo, the Lion
Virgo, the Virgin
Libra, the Scales
Scorpio, the Scorpion
Sagittarius, the Archer
Capricorn, the Sea Goat
Aquarius, the Water Bearer
Pisces, the Fishes
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