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INSUFFERABLE SAGITTARIUS...	 —Asperitus Signs— Asperitus Speaks Nhill, holy city Aries Asp (March/April) Taurus Asp (April/May) Gemini Asp (May/June) Cancer Asp (June/July) Leo Asp (July/Aug) Virgo Asp (Aug/Sept) Libra Asp (Sept/Oct) Scorpio Asp (Oct/Nov) Sagittarius Asp (Nov/Dec) Capricorn Asp (Dec/Jan) Aquarius Asp (Jan/Feb) Pisces Asp (Feb/Mar)
  The Jaded Japes of June 2008 Â

As noxious November brings the clash of idiot Uranus and grim Saturn, your home will become a temporary lunatic asylum due to flooding in the wider community. This brings a clash with authority that will see every appeal denied, as you vigorously protest the imposition. You will however feel at home with the lunatics.

You'll attempt to get your career on track, but your family will behave appallingly, lying about in a drunken stupor each time you come home from work. They stop talking when you come into a room, or whisper and point when you move away. You spend more time at the office and eventually move in there, living frugally in a basement locker. You become anally obsessive at work, counting paper clips, scrubbing your phone and ironing the stationery.

TIPS FOR JADED JUNE:

With a ghastly raft of activity in tear-stained Pisces and jittery Gemini, you argue or reunite with past partners, catch up with old flames, fight with your family, or trip over all the mess you've left on the floor.

You will have unexpected visitors or hold a 'spur of the moment' party that will see the police being called well before midnight. As vamping Venus and the great Sol Invicti slither into nasty Cancer, you go on a bender, spend money on illicit sex or necrophilia and end by joining a family of black magicians. As marauding Mars rams the rude bit into narcotic Neptune, you buy drugs from a tram conductor, travel to the end of the line and live a dissolute life in an abandoned discotheque. Centaurs, ave.

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