Asperitus Casting Runes...
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Huzzah, you creatures of unspeakable desires and unmentionable body parts! We left you last month at the top of the heap, lording it over your fellow creatures in a manner both customary and predictable for odious persons belonging to your sign. Let us see what the vile and bitter prognostications for the month of awful April will bring.
Will you rise even higher and assume the mantle of divinity you believe to be yours by right? Or will you fall from the heights, ruined by pride, arrogance and nefarious dealings as per usual? A New Moon comes in appalling Aries and your solar sixth house so you change your daily routine to suit this unparalleled success. With mighty Mars and cranky Chiron in mournful Capricorn and your solar third house, you purchase an armoured car to drive the streets, not only to protect your estimable personage and but also to maim or crush those importunate ones who come close or obstruct your path.
As giant Jupiter moves forward, you decide to run for office. However, as Mercury the messenger moves into Taurus and your solar seventh house, you discover this means you have to talk with simple, ordinary people in simple ordinary terms, so you decide against it. Mid month, a tiresome raft of indescribably tedious astrological aspects occurs, changing your life forever. You meet a handsome man/ravishing woman whose affection you can't buy due to their inordinate wealth. You fall desperately in love and propose marriage, but your offer is rejected.
Come the Full Moon in Libra with nasty aspects to mighty Mars, you withdraw from public life and become a monk. As the great Sol Invicti moves into Taurus and your solar seventh house, you swear an oath of loyalty to a spiritual leader with a very thick neck and a beautiful singing voice. As Venus the goddess moves into Aries, you fall into the routine of monastic life.
But when mighty Mars moves into Aquarius, you find you're already chafing against the restrictions and eccentric comradeship of your new home. Thus, as the Sun sinks slowly in the West and Mercury the messenger turns retrograde in Taurus, you find yourself wondering what on earth you've done all this for. Click here next month and I shall tell you, little stings-in-the-tail!
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Aries, the Ram
Taurus, the Bull
Gemini, the Twins
Cancer, the Crab
Leo, the Lion
Virgo, the Virgin
Libra, the Scales
Scorpio, the Scorpion
Sagittarius, the Archer
Capricorn, the Sea Goat
Aquarius, the Water Bearer
Pisces, the Fishes
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