Greetings, my insectoid travesties! How is everything in death’s kingdom? Don’t panic now and start to answer me! That was only a rhetorical question. Last month you were about to make a killing (pun intended) in a health sanctuary that had restored your fortune and wellbeing. You cultivated a sexual liaison for your own fell purposes and, with your new companion, you were planning a takeover bid. To that end, you were doing research (the fixed sign is thorough), laying plans (the scorpion is a creature of strategies) and discussing matters of import with an elderly spirit guide, accumulated during your last bout of delirium (Scorpio is also weird).
So what do the vile and bitter prognostications for joyless July hold? Well, I’ll tell you! As the Full Moon comes in odious Capricorn, we find you chatting in that intense, repressed manner, characteristic of your unspeakable sign. Unfortunately, from the more general point of view of mental health, you’re chatting with someone who isn’t actually there. Nonetheless, you forge plans in secret with the disembodied one. Under his direction, as marauding Mars clashes with idiot Uranus, you form several more sexual liaisons among the minor authorities in the staff, to give yourself a better foothold (so to speak) in the organization as a whole.
The great Sol Invicti conjoins with miserable Saturn and you prepare legal protection and an overseas escape route. As a raft of unspeakable planets fart in the cosmic winds, unsettling the Lunar Nodes, you’re at your favourite game, playing one off against another as you weave a web of lies and deception. Mischievous Mercury and marauding Mars clash with nasty Neptune and, with a series of deft moves, you find yourself possessed of the fortunes of a number of invalid inmates, a couple of staff members and several of the rest home’s suppliers.
Come the New Moon in neurotic Cancer, you’ve flown to far climes, leaving behind jilted lovers and impoverished victims. All in all, a good month’s work! However, you haven’t left everyone behind. The disembodied one still sits at your left shoulder, guiding your every move with eldritch counsel. Great Caesar’s ghost, little rulers of the anus! You’re being guided by a being from the spirit world! Despite your recent troubles with the deity and your expressed disbelief in all matters spiritual! And, what’s more, it’s working!
Vamping Venus clashes with jolly Jupiter and you invest the embezzled funds with unseemly haste. The great Sol Invicti moves into loathsome Leo and you pose as a person of importance, flaunting your money and wandering about with a supercilious look, the one you have when you wish to assert your superiority. Vamping Venus clashes with underworld Pluto and money rolls into the scorpion coffers as various investments and illicit dealings pay dividends, once again courtesy of the counsel of a disembodied spirit. You’re even asked to give a talk on money and success for a local association of business people as mischievous Mercury enters Virgo and the demon at your ear puts every silken word into your mouth.
You’re a great success! Miserable Saturn and jolly Jupiter grind the gears of underworld Pluto and all seems right with the world until a ‘once in a blue moon’ event comes along. For that’s what it is, my little venomous lunatics! Jaundiced July brings a second Full Moon, this time in nitwit Aquarius, one that clashes with the Lunar Nodes. And there before you in your new home, as you return from your success, is the figure of your jilted lover from the healing sanctuary. It’s time to pay the piper, insectoid travesties! So what will your spirit teacher say now? Click here next month and see.