Asperitus Casting Runes...
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God, is it that time of the month again? And I have only recently recovered from the occasion of my last address to you. How is the road to divinity, odious persons of the venomous tail? Is it like the road to Damascus? Are you struck down blind and thrown from your chariot whereupon you immediately change your name and begin to speak of the almighty? I can't imagine Saint Paul was a scorpion, since no self-respecting bearer of this damnable brand would be struck down without striking back. Even the divine would not undertake such a rash course of action as to assault a scorpion with impunity.
If my obscure references to the divine are meaningless to you at the moment then kindly read last month's forecast and do try to keep up in future otherwise your miserable life will pass you by without you ever knowing or understanding the bitter truth as forecast by Asperitus. As we speak of this subject, so let us pursue it. On with the vile and bitter prognostications for you scorpions as the scourge of September begins.
Your bid for godhead and the leadership of the cult of Feedmibeast the First may start on something of an awkward note. Mercury the messenger begins the month by moving into Libra and your solar twelfth house. Now, while this transit is renowned for its potential for spiritual experience, it also can breed confusion, misunderstanding, forgetfulness and lack of correct attention. It is true that a degree of woolly-headed thinking is important on the spiritual search, but it is equally true that this is at its most useful when confined to the members of a religious cult and not their leader. She/he needs to be sharp as a razor so as to correctly deceive and properly take advantage of the incipient, dim-witted followers.
However, as Venus the goddess opposes mystic Neptune at this time, the atmosphere is ripe for deception as long as you present a particularly glamorous figure. Your sign is of course noted for its natural allure and this simply typifies the essential insanity of our universe as the surface glamour of the scorpion conceals the crazed creature obsessed with sex, death, cruelty, torture and the general run of excretions that lurks beneath. It is also important to remember that as Venus is opposing Neptune in your solar fourth house, this may cause some kind of fallout between you and members of your family. However, since you have everything from thumbscrews to contract killers to remedy such difficulties, I doubt whether they will prove to be any major impediment.
Nonetheless, despite these obstacles (or perhaps because of them, given a tendency to take on impossible odds), you decide to proceed with the building of the cult. You launch yourself when the FULL MOON comes in Pisces and your fifth house as, largely, you're intending to use your followers for your own sexual pleasure and get them to pay for the privilege, fulfilling yet another time-honoured practice of the scorpion. And, with the great Sol Invicti wrestling with underworld Pluto and sober Saturn, lord of fateful reward, you'll have to think about how you want to make your financial arrangements after the first successful meeting of the anxious novices from whom you'll eventually draw your inner circle. Perhaps a charitable trust would be best! As giant Jupiter, monarch of the Heavens, makes a little merry mayhem with underworld Pluto in the middle of the month, you look to setting up an offshore account where the monies from the trust can be lodged. And, with Venus the goddess opposing revolutionary Uranus, you sell your house to the trust and then rent it back as a tenant so as to set the requisite amount of negative gearing in place.
Come the NEW MOON in Virgo and your solar eleventh house on September 17th, the new charity of Feedmibeast the First is an operating concern, with ex-chemists, dry cleaners and governnesses who suffer from incurable spasmodic diseases being the designated beneficiaries. Come the EQUINOX on September 22nd, the great Sol Invicti moves into Libra and your solar twelfth house, you're truly ready to launch your career of bogus spirituality and public deception.
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Aries, the Ram
Taurus, the Bull
Gemini, the Twins
Cancer, the Crab
Leo, the Lion
Virgo, the Virgin
Libra, the Scales
Scorpio, the Scorpion
Sagittarius, the Archer
Capricorn, the Sea Goat
Aquarius, the Water Bearer
Pisces, the Fishes
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